The Knights Who Say “Ni” Songtext
von Monty Python

Meanwhile, King Arthur and Sir Bedevere
Not more than a swallow′s flight away, have discovered something


Ni! (Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!)
Who are you?
We are the Knights Who Say
'Ni′! (Ni!)
No! Not the Knights Who Say 'Ni'!
The same!
Who are they?
We are the keepers of the sacred words
′Ni′, 'Peng′, and 'Neee-wom′! (Neee-wom!)
Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale
The Knights Who Say 'Ni′ demand a sacrifice
Knights of 'Ni', we are but simple travellers
Who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods
Ni! (Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!)
Ow! Ow! Ow! Agh!
We shall say ′Ni′ again to you if you do not appease us
Well, what is it you want?
We want...
A shrubbery!
A what?

(Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!) Ow! Oh!
Please! Please! No more!
We will find you a shrubbery
You must return here with a shrubbery
Or else, you will never pass through this wood... Alive
O Knights of 'Ni′, you are just and fair, and we will return with a shrubbery
One that looks nice
Of course
And not too expensive
Yes
Now...
Go!


O Knights of 'Ni′, we have brought you your shrubbery
May we go now?
It is a good shrubbery! I like the laurels particularly
But there is one small problem
What is that?
We are now no longer the Knights Who Say 'Ni′!
Ni! (sh!)
We are now the Knights Who Say
'Ecky-Ecky-Ecky-Ecky-Pikang-Zoom-Boing-Gumzowehzeh' (Ni!)
Therefore, we must give you a test
What is this test, O Knights of
Knights Who ′Til Recently Said ′Ni'?
Firstly, you must find...
Another shrubbery! (Ni!)
Not another shrubbery!
Then! When you have found the shrubbery
You must place it here beside this shrubbery
Only slightly higher, so you get a two-level effect with a little path running down the middle
(A path! A path! Ni!)
Then, when you have found the shrubbery
You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with...
A herring!