You Be the Actor Songtext
von Monty Python

And now, the moment you′ve been waiting for!

Your chance to be like Sir Laurence Olivier, Sir Alec
Guinness and Laurence Harvey in the privacy of your own
Living room. Yes, all you need is this record and the
Script supplied with it and you too can be a great actor!

You will be playing the part of Montague, the forceful yet
Bitter, disillusioned and zany Marxist tycoon in this new
Play by a very good bearded playwright. Other great British
And Welsh actors will be playing only minor roles. Now is
Your big chance, just follow the script as we present...
A Taste of Evil, starring...
(Insert your name here) as Montague


A police station in Repton
Morning, Super
Morning, Wonderful
Nasty business up at the Tower, sir
Oh yes? What's happened?
Montague′s shot himself
Dead?
'Fraid so, sir. Blood everywhere

We apologize for an error in this "Be a Great Actor in Your Own
Living Room" section of the record. Owing to an error in the
Selection of the play, the character of Montague does not appear
To speak throughout the production. So, let's go straight on
To number two in your scripts, All Quiet on the Western Front
You are Charles, just back from the war, and to help you become
A great actor, a buzzer will go when it is your turn to speak

All Quiet on the Western Front, adapted
For radio by Jeff Astell and Jean Genet
Episode 8: Charles Returns to Berkeley Manor

Oh, Charles, Charles, Charles!
Oh, Charles
I, I never thought I′d see you again
Oh, that′s wonderful news
But why? Are you...?
Where?


Oh no
Yes, Charles?
Oh, I love you too
But what?
Shut off?
Completely?
Oh, Charles
Charles
Charles

Will Charles ever play football again?
Does Asquith really know what is happening to the chaps in France?
And is Belinda such a good as everyone says?
Don't miss next week′s exciting episode