“Secret Greasing” Songtext
von Frank Zappa

During some of the great sounds from out of the past
It′s time actually for an unofficial commercial
And, um, this is a commercial for an album called Ruben & The Jets

It's a secret greasing

It′s a secret greasing?

Yeah

And this commercial has not been paid
For which, I might add, violates all the rules of the Federal Communications Commission

That's it, stick it to 'em
Tell ′em how avant-garde you are!
...the music can start?

It′s on already

Oh, I can't hear it
Oh, can I hear it while I′m doing this?

No way for you to hear it, Frank, you just have to...

Oh, start it again, I wanna make it perfect

Okay

Well, at least, get close to it

Okay, we're gonna start that again


Here we go, this is our greasing

Okay, I think it′s about ready to start, Frank, if you're ready


Ruben Sano was 19 when he quit the group to work on his car
He had just saved up enough money to buy a 53 Nash and four gallons of gray primer
His girlfriend said she would leave him forever
If he didn′t quit playing in the band and fix up his car
So they could go to the drive-in and make out
There was already 11 other guys in the band
So when he quit, nobody missed him except for his car
When they had to go to rehearsal or play for a battle of the bands at the American Legion Post in Chino
They are all still good friends even today
The other main guys in the band
Natcho, Louie, Pana and Chuy still come over to Ruben's house on Tuesday or Wednesday
To listen to his collection of Richie Valens records and also "Eddie My Love"
Generally speaking, they save "Cherry Pie" and "Work With Me Annie" 'til the late part of the evening
So they can have something to hum on the way home or to Burger Lane
Some of them continue to hum and pop their fingers even the next day, working in the car wash
Now that they have gotten their big break in show business
Each one of the main guys in the group voted at the band meeting to keep the name Ruben on the jets
Not only because it sounds real fine and gives it class, but also because it makes it real sharp
Ruben even likes it too and thinks it is real sharp
All the guys in the band hope that you are sick and tired
Like they are of all this crazy far out music some of the bands of today are playing
They hope you are so sick and tired of it that you are ready for their real sharp style of music
They are good socially acceptable young men who only want to sing about their girlfriends
They want everybody to start dancing close back together again like 1955
Because they know that people need to love and also want to hold on to each other
Even holding hands is okay to them
They want you to hold hands and dance the bop and fall in love to their music
One of the main guys in the band was telling me a couple of weeks ago
When we were talking about how about only half the guys in the band ever show up at rehearsals most of the time
"If people would just hear my plea, I would give everthing just to sing the songs that was turning me on high school"

Ruben has three dogs
Benny, Baby and Martha