Smut Songtext
von Tom Lehrer

It′s called smut
Give me smut and nothing but
A dirty novel I can't shut
If it′s uncut
And un-sut-
Tal
I've never quibbled
If it was ribald
I would devour
Where others merely nibbled
As the judge remarked the day that he acquitted my Aunt Hortense
To be smut it must be ut-
Terly without redeeming social importance
Pornographic pictures I adore
Indecent magazines galore
I like them more
If they're hard core
Bring on the obscene movies, murals, postcards
Neckties, samplers, stained glass windows, tattoos, anything
More, more, I′m still not satisfied


Stories of tortures
Used by debauchers
Lurid, licentious, and vile
Make me smile
Novels that pander
To my taste for candor
Give me a pleasure sublime
Let′s face it, I love slime
All books can be indecent books
Though recent books are bolder
For filth, I'm glad to say
Is in the mind of the beholder
When correctly viewed
Everything is lewd
I could tell you things about Peter Pan
And the Wizard of Oz, there′s a dirty old man
I thrill
To any book like Fanny Hill
And I suppose I always will
If it is swill
And really fil-
Thy
Who needs a hobby
Like tennis or philately?
I've got a hobby
Rereading Lady Chatterley
But now they′re trying to take it all away from us
Unless we take a stand and hand in
Hand we fight for freedom of the press
In other words smut, I love it
Ah, the adventures of a slut
Oh, I'm a market they can′t glut
I don't know what
Compares with smut
Hip hip hooray, let's hear it for the Supreme Court
Don′t let them take it away