I'm Too Fertile Songtext
von Scoochie Boochie

I′m too fertile
I am perturbed
All of my flirting is turning paternal
It is the worst
She just gave birth
Cuz she sold me a churro
How does that work?
Feel like a birch
Tree at least
In terms of dispersal
It's just like pollen: airborne
Soon as you walk in the airport
You got a toddler to care for
And I got a flight to catch
I can′t stand it
Giving out babies like damn pamphlets
You had a kid
Cuz I took a pic
For your and your friend at the Grand Canyon
You gotta be kidding me


Do you gotta be kidding me?
I filled a little league
Doctors are calling it hyperfertility
And they all came with abilities
This kid can echolocate like a bat
What's up with that?
I know for a fact
He didn't get that from his dad
My babies pop out with mutton chops
Strong as a fucking ox
That′s why they wanna become a mom
They want my sons to become Lebrons
All of my babies are phenoms
Girls wanna be moms
I′m like why
I maxed out a Visa
From all of the Capri Suns
That I buy
I just spent a million on Gerber
I just spent a million on wipes
I could fill a Battlefield server
Or a battlefield in real life
Feeling full of pride when they're charging
But then I get charged for the price
Pizza party for the whole army
I just spent a million on Sprite
I′m too fertile
I am perturbed
All of my flirting is turning paternal
It is the worst
She just gave birth
Cuz she sold me a churro
How does that work?
I feel like a birch
Tree at least
In terms of dispersal
I know what you're thinking
Just wear protection
Were it so easy
It is incessant
If there′s an IUD is has a method
It can defuse it if it can detect it
Got more dependents than stars in the heavens
And they don't pay for their own tennis lessons
This is financial not sexual tension
And it′s not due to a lack of prevention
Double the rubbers, I'm so safe
Bundle it up like a snow day
But then I buss and they both break
Take a plan B but it won't take
She held the door and I said thanks
She had a baby the next day
We never met
Let alone sex
We were just at the same Mets game
We never fucked
Let alone make out
Our hands just brushed
When she handed me takeout
But then a son
Randomly sprang out
Now I can′t go back to that Outback Steakhouse
It sucks
I really liked the whole staff at that steakhouse
Shout out to Ronny at that Outback Steakhouse
Ronny, Ronny, Ronny, Yup
Ronny, Ronny, Ronny, Yup
Ronny, Ronny, Ronny, Yup
Ronny, Ronny, Ronny, Yup
Ronny′s so funny and nice
He's never stingy with fries
Give you a side on the side
He′s such a genuine guy
If you met ronny bet you would love him
He can pick up on if you were struggling
Brighten your day with a bloomin onion
Ronny is nice with the bloomin onion
I love Ronny
I am perturbed
Cuz I can never go back and see Ronny
Ronny's superb
He′ll hook you up with a special on mahi
Surf and the turf
But I can't return
Cuz I turned his coworker into a mommy