You Can’t Fool the Fat Man Songtext
von Randy Newman

Sittin′ with the fat man
Tryin' to get a loan
Talkin′ about horses
And the women that we've known

Spittin' on the sidewalk
Squintin′ into the sun
Greetin′ all the people
Smilin' at everyone


I said "Hey, listen, Fat Man
I just can′t get a break
Must I pay my whole life long
For just one mistake?"

"My brother's in the armed forces
My sister is in jail,
Won′t you give me fifty dollars
So I can pay her bail?"

He said "You Can't Fool The Fat Man
No, you can′t fool me
You're just a two-bit grifter
And that's all you′ll ever be"