Fake ID Songtext
von Macklemore

Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Macklemore
And this is my music, and it feels so damn good right about now
Check it out, I got a story
Yo, it goes a little something like

When I was 17, I was staying in NYC
And my homie told me where I could get a fake ID
"Ayo son, you better get that shit when you in NY"
So I hopped on the subway and I gave it a try
Plesant surprise, the ID looked fine
5′9", blues eyes, born in 1979 (that's right)
Nervous as hell, I went to the store with my homie
Came out and yelled, "Dawg, they sold me a 40"


(Yeah) he know that I was the man
Buying the contraband with a fake-ass hologram
No more looking for bums, standing in the rain
Stranded on Broadway and giving ′em all my change
For the rest of the summer, man, I was on fades
17, had it made, getting drunk everyday
Eh, I got treated a whole new way
Because of a piece of plastic that proved I was of age

You know what I'm saying
All of a sudden you get this little piece of plastic and you're in the club
17, like pow! Check it out
It′s like this, yo

Now for the next three years, I had so much fun
Getting drunk in Hip-Hop clubs where you had to be 21
Then one day I was walking and I saw a sign
That said KRS-One 21 up and live
That′s hella tight
Ayo, I heard he always ripped it
So I hopped up in my Civic and went out to by a ticket
When I got up the the door, the bouncer checking IDs
Looks at mine and he's like, "Nah, we don′t take these"

I tried to reach and grab my shit back
But the motherfucker was tougher than Shaq on crack
I should of punched him, but I would have reached his knee cap
And that probably wouldn't have hurt him very much


He kept laughing and smilin′ and he called me a dumb shit
And if I woulda let myself, I would have cried in public
Oh no, I'm like, "Give it back, bro"
But no, my ID was jacked by the Caucasian Deebo

Ha, I′m laughing right now, but at the time
It really was not funny, and it's still not very funny, fucker

Bitch, why you got to take my ID?
Why do I have to be 21 to drink a Long Island ice tea?
I hate bouncers with their bald heads and ten-foot-long legs
And shirts that they outgrew when they were like ten (get 'em)
Your mother is dumb for having you
You′re a bouncer because you have a small dick
And as a kid, everyone laughed at you (get ′em)
You're too big, and you never seemed to listen
You look injected with the shit they give to KFC chickens (get ′em)

I don't like ya, at all I despise you
If I was tall, I would fight you
If I was a dog, I′d bite you
Every single day, you make people cry
And your job is to go and ruin teenager's lives
Okay, I′m going too far, bouncers aren't all bad
I'm sure they make great husbands and really strong dads
But hopefully, you′ve learned a lesson from me
Never take an MC′s fake ID

Yup, I said never take an MC's fake ID
You could be buff and tough, it don′t matter to me
'Cause you′re gonna get burned if you step to MCs