Over the Points Songtext
von Ian Dury & the Blockheads

I am an actual train
Believe it or not, believe it or not
I carry you backwards and forth
South and North, on down the line and up
Before they shunt me into the final siding
I wish to make a few points
Whenever I have a breakdown
All my passengers start talking to each other
They can sit, walk, sleep, or have a tidy
As I hurtle along
Sometimes the track is lined with decapitated schoolboys′ heads
Still wearing their caps
Upon me at any given moment
Ten or twelve people might be taking craps
Over the points
I've transported enormous frivolity
And fearful violence in my carriages
I′ve got compartments for sex, birth, death And occasional trainspotter's marriages
Believe you me, there are some
Right eccentrics walking up and down my corridors
Picture the consternation in my bogies
When my driver's had a drink
All over the shop, hundreds of people
Invariably male, write our numbers down
We as trains are agreed that this is because
We are extremely phallic
Nobody seems frightened onboard us
Because we hardly ever crash
We′ve been squashing pennies for well over a century
People love it when we′re robbed
And they wave at us and are happy watching us going past
Can you imagine how pleasant it is in general
Being an iron horse?
I'm quite chuffed


The strange and wacky
The strange and wacky train
If you miss this one
You′ll never get another one