The Wheatley Rap Songtext
von Harry Callaghan

Hey my name′s Wheatley; I'm a brilliant little core!
I didn′t know what to expect when I opened up that door!
I showed her where the gun was; she progressed like a pro!
Such a good jumper too...

When we found GLaDOS, I kinda woke her up!
She wasn't happy, nooo... she crushed me like a cup!
Found a great big bird; it put me on my rail!
When I found Chell again, I tried to tell her the tale!

That little moron couldn't handle it!
He gained some power and lost his shit!
He turned GLaDOS into a potato-chip!
And now he′s banished into space, without a ship!

We went behind the scenes to try and escape!
She tried to crush us again: got through without a scrape!
Destroyed her neurotoxin and replaced all the turrets!
Turns out they′re pretty useless without any bullets!


We made it to her chamber; I was ready to insert!
Then Chell pressed the button... oooh, man that hurt!
I did lose control, I'll be the first to admit...
I even punched Chell down a deadly pit...

That little moron couldn′t handle it!
He gained some power and lost his shit!
He turned GLaDOS into a potato-chip!
And now he's banished into space, without a ship!

With GLaDOS out the picture, I could call the shots!
Did a little digging and came across the bots!
Had a real bad itch and needed to do some tests!
But first I had to deal with those troublesome pests!

Chell and the potato, made it to my lair!
I only tried to help them; it just wasn′t fair!
Then Chell shot a portal on to the moon!
And it sucked us out like a big typhoon!

That little moron couldn't handle it!
He gained some power and lost his shit!
He turned GLaDOS into a potato-chip!
And now he′s banished into space, without a ship!

Spaaaaace!

Spaaaaaaaaaaaace!

Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace!


Space!

That little moron couldn't handle it!
He gained some power and lost his shit!
He turned GLaDOS into a potato-chip!
And now he's banished into space, without a ship!