It Does Not Pay to Be Hip Songtext
von Shel Silverstein

Well for a long time now
I′ve been aware
That like I'm alright
But like the world is square
So I′ll tell all you people
You can take my tip
It does not pay to be hip

Now just last week
I found myself in the red
With no way to meet my overhead
So like I went to my buddy
And asked him for some bread
And here is what he said
He said, "You want white bread, rye bread, pumpernickel
Whole wheat, cracked wheat, holly or fioli?"

I said, "Later"
He says, "You mean three or four o'clock?"
I said, "Later"
He says, "You mean Thursday or Friday?"


I said, "Forget it"

Now I was feeling uptight
So like I went to see the man
I heard he always had some stuff on hand
I said, "Tell me baby

Can you spare some pot?"
He said, "You're welcome to anything I got
And I got steel pots, brass pots, cast iron, aluminum
Pyrex, Windex"
I said, "Cool it"
He says, "You mean put it in the refrigerator?"
I said, "Cool it"
He says, "You mean turn on the air conditioning?"
I said, "Forget it"

Now I was feeling strung out


And hung up and brought down
There wasn′t nobody hip
Like in the whole damn town
So I run up on a chick
And she was long and tall
And asked her would she care to ball
And she said, "Football, baseball, volleyball or basketball
Handball, pinball, bowling ball"
I said, "You′re putting me on"

She says, "On the train, on the plane
On the bus or on the sidewalk"
I said, "I wanna make it"

She says, "Make what?"

I said, "A scene"

I said, "I want to make a scene"
She says, "Shakespeare, Clifford Odets
Arthur Miller or Pirandello"
I said, "Forget it"

She says, "You know what I'd like to do?"
I said, "No, what?"
She says, "I′d like to make love to you"

And I says, "Go baby, go"
And she left