A Flipper Songtext
von Ron White

So, I have-, had the weirdest things happen to me
I was at a party the other day
And I was talking to a friend of mine that I hadn′t seen in a couple o' years
And a guy walks up to us, right? That he knows that I don′t know
And while we're having this conversation, he stops and introduces me to this fella
And I'm not paying attention, which I′m usually not
And I go to shake the guy′s hand


And while I'm shaking his hand
I realize it′s not really a hand, it's uh
It′s got two little pieces of something here with like a web between
And then nothing right there, and then a little stump and a web back there
It's a flipper
No offense, if you have a flipper
But if you do, don′t you feel some obligation to warn somebody?
Especially if you know they're not paying attention, you know?

I mean anything, like, "Watch it, it's a flipper!"
′Cause I end up accidentally hurting the guy′s feelings, you know?
I'm like, "Oh yeah, nice to meet you, what is that? A fucking flipper?"
And you feel bad
I′ll touch his flipper, I just got to see it first
I got to get ready for the flipper
Can't be shocking me with the flipper there, buddy