News Items Songtext
von Larry the Cable Guy

I was watching the news the other day
I like watching the news

How about that girl who had sex with her student
You see that good looking teacher had sex
What in the world
I′m gonna go back and enroll in fourth grade
That's what I′m gonna do
That's a staying in school incentive right there
They oughta change that from No Child Left Behind
To No Child's Behind Left Alone
That′s what they oughta do there

And the kids are telling everybody
Hey, she had

Shut up you dumbass

Good Lord, you get to be my age
Sitting around watching the Playboy channel
All by yourself
You′d be wishing you were back in the classroom


That happened to a buddy of mine's kid
Had sex with his teacher
Bad part there was he was homeschooled
So that would

I know, I′m with you
I totally agree with you
It's ridiculous

Rosie O′Donnell come out of the closet last year
Like that was a shock
It was a shock if she come out of any closet
Good Lord
She come out of the three car garage
Where she come out of

I think rednecks are the smartest people in the world
And I tell you I know that to be true
I'm telling you
Think about it


NASA shoots rockets into space
Every one of them pretty doggone smart
And they all rednecks
And I can guarantee you
People go how do you know that
Because they got two cars on Mars
And one of them is already up on blocks

Alright, that proves it right there