Gift-Giving Songtext
von Larry the Cable Guy

What the hell is this, Russia?
You know you give out top notch, top of the line fancy Christmas gifts
For Christmas and folks just toss ′em aside like a plate of tomatoes

Shoot, see if I spend good money anymore on my ungrateful relatives

So I didn't wrap ′em up fancy, big deal
I didn't have no tape and I had to
Get rid of some of them Windexy bags

And that set of fingernail clippers I give
My brother wasn't no easy gift to get
God dang, I stood in line for damn near 25
Minutes at the Little Champ to get them sumbitches
Least I made an effort for Christmas, he ain′t
Even give me nothing but a pain in the ass


Then my sister, oh boy
She gets mad cause I gived her Mexican boyfriend a set
Of jumper cables and one of them car deodorant crowns
What the hell?
As far as dashboard I thought that′d be nice
You know?
But no, I get bitched at for what, giving practical gifts

Hell I don't know what Mexicans want for Christmas
They′s always bitching for something, asking
For jumper cables or joints or something
And I'll be damned if I′m sticking a
Bag of seedless under the Christmas tree

I do apologize to my little nephew though for forgetting
To poke holes in that box I put her hamster in
Poor little hamster
I shoulda put it under the tree early
Damn thing musta died quick cause we had to have
Little Doreen open it up two days before Christmas
Cause it was starting to stink and collect ants
Next time I'm gonna be more careful with the breathing gifts
But my ungrateful family can kiss my rock
Hard Dolph Lundgren looking egg cracking ass

I done gives ′em good thoughtful gifts this year
And if they don't like 'em, give ′em back
Tell you what, I could use them fingernail clippers


Like my mom said after opening the gift I got her for her birthday
Quote, "Oh look, teriyaki jerky" unquote
Boy that′s good commentary
Get 'er done