Dread Rock Songtext
von Judge Dread

Cor, innit nice here?
I think I′ll have a lie on the sand
May as well get me rock out
D'you know what?
I think I can hear a band playing somewhere

When I go down the seaside
I′m feeling rather rude
The girls in their bikinis
Are showing all their boobs
And when they see my stick of rock
They all shout out with glee
"Before you give it all away
Please save a little for me!"

Oh ho ho, oh what a big one
I've never seen one as big as that before
Oh ho ho, oh what a big one
It must be fourteen inches long or more


I took a stroll along the beach
My rock was in my hand
I saw a girl was buried
Up to her neck in sand
She said "Some boys been whistling me
And please help get me out"
But before I could assist her
My rock shot in her mouth
As she cried

Oh what a big one
I've never seen one as big as that before
Oh ho ho, oh what a big one
It must be fourteen inches long or more

Now I′m always in the discos
As soon as the sun goes down
I chat up all the nice girls
With bodies nice and brown
I take them back to the Shelley
And they always get a shock
For when I turn the light on
They see the size of me rock
And they all cry

Oh what a big one
I′ve never seen one as big as that before
Oh ho ho, oh what a big one
It must be fourteen inches long or more


The holidays are over
Me rock goes home with me
Although it's not as big as it was
It′s big enough for me
If you want to know where my girlfriend is
Take a look around the place
She's the one in the corner
With a smile upon her face
′Cause she knows

That it's a big one
She′s never seen one as big as that before
Oh ho ho, oh what a big one
It must be fourteen inches long or more

Woo! Oh God almighty
Yeah, that's not coming out

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much

What we're gonna do

We will do one more

What it′s gonna be
It′s gonna be one written by a local peasant

Called Elton John
Or known to his friends as Reg

Now, Elton wrote this song

I suppose he must have done it with me in mind
'Cause it was him who reminded me about it
It′s a thing called "Jamaica Jerk Off"

Now, a jerk off in Jamaican
Means exactly what it does in this country
Now we're all adult people here
It means to pull your plonker
Now, now before we go any further
I must say to you
For me as an artist
Which is politely known as the arsehole end of the business I am
Because I′m the one everybody steps on

Now, the thing is
For me to come out and see a place full up

For me personally
And it's the only way people ever seriously come out and see me
Because you never hear me on the telly
You never see me in nothing at all
For me to come here and see it full up is marvellous
Thank you very much
Good night and God bless