Redneck Stomp Songtext
von Jeff Foxworthy

If you′ve been on television more than 5 times
Describing what the tornado sounded like...
You might be a redneck
If you've ever cut your grass and found a car...
If your dad walks you to school because you′re in the same grade...
If you've ever been too drunk to fish...
You might be a redneck
If someone asks to see your ID and you show 'em your belt buckle...
If every day somebody comes to your door
Mistakenly thinking you′re having a yard sale...
If you′ve ever had to haul a can of paint to the top
Of a water tower to defend your sister's honor...
You might be a redneck
If your dog and your wallet are both on a chain...
You might be a redneck
They always make fun of the way I talk, and I keep telling them
I said, "You′re gonna be real surprised when you get to heaven and


St. Peter says, 'Y′all get in the truck, we goin' up the big house.′"
If you've ever financed a tattoo...
If you've ever made change in the offering plate...
You might be a redneck
We have words in the south they don′t have in other parts of the
Country. Now you come to the south, we have words like "Youn′t to"
. "We goin' to the mall, youn′t to?" What letter does that start
With? Does anybody know? I like this word a lot: "Aight". That's
A word in Texas, "Aight". ′Round lunchtime every day you'll hear
Somebody say, "Hey, gee, yeah?" "No, gee." "Youn′t to?" "Aight."
If you go to the family reunion to meet women...
If you smoked during your wedding...
You might be a redneck
And last but not least, if you see a sign that says, "Say
No to crack," and it reminds you to pull your jeans up...
Thank you so much, thank you for coming out tonight
God bless you. Thank you again. Thank you, folks