Oreo Generation Songtext
von Jeff Foxworthy

And getting back to my original premise about knowing that you′re part

Of a group. I was reading this thing the other day and it was talking

About people being part of the Oreo generation. And what it was

Saying was people that waited until their mid-thirties to have kids

Like my wife and I, see, cause my parents got married when they were

Like 20. I was born nine months to the day after my parents were

Married. Nine months to the day, that must've been a ceremony. I do

Could you turn around just one minute to the rear every night? But it

Was saying people that waited until their mid-thirties, it said

You′re kind of an Oreo because you're raising your children, and

You're also raising your parents who in their elderly age are kind of

Reverting back to childhood. And I told my wife, I said, "You know

What this means? It means we′ve got two that are out of diapers and

Two that are going into them." And as bad as it was with the little

Ones, I can′t imagine it's going to be any more fun with the big

Ones. I just don′t want to be sitting there watching football with my

Father-in-law going, "Ed, don't you lie to me, Ed." But there are

Similarities between the kids and the seniors. I mean, they both have

Their own special menu at restaurants. You′ve got to worry about both


Of them with drugs, because it's not just the teenagers, seniors get

Ahold of some good stuff. The last time we were at my in-laws, I made

The comment that my sinuses were kind of stopped up and my mother-in-

Law said, "Do you want to stop the sniffles or not feel your head?"

She opens up her purse and pulls out this little baggie, it looks

Like it′s full of Skittles and grabs this tiny green pill. And she

Said, "Say hello to my little friend." I took that pill. I woke up

Two days later, laying in the backyard, talking to Elvis. She's at

The door going, "Get up you baby. I take four of those and go to the

Grocery store." You know, and the kids don't listen to you and the

Seniors can′t hear you. My mother-in-law has a hearing aid that she

Only wears about half the time. And you can always tell when she′s

Not wearing it because she talks louder than any human being on the


Planet. Four or five months ago, we're in line at the movie theater
One night and they′re with us. And she says to me, "Don't look now
But the man behind us is cross-eyed as a bat." And one, you′re
Embarrassed to death. And two, when somebody says something like
That, you got to look. I turn around and this guy is glaring at me
Well, he may not have been glaring at me, but he was glaring at
Somebody. This guy was mad. You know, and the kids wear their pants
Falling off their butts and the seniors wear them up to their armpit
My father-in-law got his chest hair caught in his zipper. And I look
At all this and what makes me scared is I know I'm next in line. And

Let me tell you, I can tell I′m getting older. A lot of ways I can

Tell. One, about a year ago, somebody broke into my truck and I keep

A case in there with like 24 CDs in it. They stole three of them
Well, thank God the Anne Murray's still here. Where's the Best of
Bread? Where′s the Best of Bread? Two, I have finally broke down and
Got a recliner. I used to always make fun of my dad and his recliner
I have a recliner now and I love it. I used to travel the world at a
Moment′s notice. I get in that recliner, I'm not getting out of that
Thing. I just wait on people to walk through the house. "Hey, do me
A favor and make me a sandwich. I think I smell smoke. Is the house
On fire? Hey, if you see flames, there′s an extinguisher under the
Sink in the kitchen there." But the worst one, a couple of weeks ago

My wife and a few of her friends were making jokes and giggling about

This product called Astroglide. It's this, it′s apparently, it is

This lubricant that they sell in the drug store right next to the

Condominiums. And, but it's supposed to be really good stuff. I mean

Apparently you′re able to put it on a Cadillac and get it in a dog
House. But as they're talking about it, I swear to you, my first
Thought was, "I bet I can put that on the poles the bird feeders are
On and keep the squirrels off of them." The squirrels are driving me
Crazy. If you come by my house at five o'clock in the morning, you
Will see me on the back porch in my underwear with night vision
Goggles, holding a BB gun, waiting on the squirrels. Just embarrasses
My kids to death, which is the way I believe life is supposed to
Work. The parents are supposed to embarrass the kids and the kids
Are supposed to embarrass the parents. I embarrassed my kids so bad

In the last school year. I have two daughters. I live next door to

My brother who has three daughters. So, almost every day I drive them

To school. And last year, while I was driving them to school, we

Ran out of gas in the carpool lane because my wife does not realize
It′s actually legal for women to purchase gasoline. So, but we run
Out of gas and people are honking the horn and having to back up and
Go around us and the kids are just mortified. So, the next morning
When I took them, I made sure that the tank was just as full as it
Could possibly be. And I pull up to the front of the school and they
Not even trying to be funny, but as we pull up to the front, I roll
Down the passenger window and yell out, "I′ve got gas this morning
" And the kids are like, "Oh God, just go home. Just go home." But

See, then they turn around and embarrass me because they're reaching

This age where I think they have a natural curiosity that′s starting

To develop. And bless their hearts, you know, they have no brothers

Or boy cousins to check out anything on. But I can tell they're at
This age because y′all, when I get in the shower, there is nobody
Else in that bathroom. Now, when I get out of the shower, there are
Five little girls just loitering. So, finally I confront them
I said, "Why are all of you in this bathroom?" And my youngest one
Who's really funny, she said, "We′re trying to see a hoo-
Hoo." I said, "Well, I'm going to tell you all you need
To know about hoo-hoos. Hoo-hoos are extremely poisonous
" And without missing a beat, she said, "They are not
Or the dog would be dead." I hate a smart kid, I swear