Song for Kelly Songtext
von Goldie Lookin Chain

I seen the film American Pie
Where the bloke fucked the food so I gave it a try
My technique was slightly off key
It involved tinned meat and a pop celebrity
I wouldn′t hurt her if I saw her on the street
But I wanna make a statue just for Kelly from Meat
You know, it all started way back when
Using Spam to get boys to men
I used bacon to make Rusty D
Kelly Osbourne, you're my meat fantasy
You′re always there when I need to talk
And I love the way your fingers and your toes are made from pork
I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne
And I fucked it when I was watching porn
I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne
And I fucked it when I was watching porn
Minimum content, three percent meat
I trim the fat off, it looked really neat
Made the torso to shape the thighs
But I'm sad 'cause I′ve nothing for the eyes


Fluid dripping like a running tap
When I warm the meat up and rub it on my lap
Making bacon with beef or ham
People pay money for this in Amsterdam
Meat fantasies often give me the horn
But nothing like a corned beef Kelly Osbourne
You′re divine, so sexy, so tasty
Like meat in a pie when I penetrate the pastry
This girl I was with had a vag like corned beef
It was all smashed up and I thought it had teeth
I thought a kebab was on the main course
So I covered it in my own special garlic sauce
I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne
And I fucked it when I was watching porn
I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne
And I fucked it when I was watching porn
I fucked a corned beef Kelly Osbourne
I fucked a corned beef Kelly Osbourne, you know
Sit back, kids, take a book out of my leaf
Unless I fuck a pile of sweaty, stinky feet
Down all easy, and they're looking at me funny
Twelve tins of corned beef, now it′s a canny
Ooh, I'm gonna fuck you right here, right now
Making less with my stiff, gonna show you how
To stick it in, watch your foreskin, try to fuck it in
Rip a bunch of string ′cause you knows I wanna fuck
A prime fitted cunt with a bit of lippy dressed up like a slut
Getting down on the floor for a bit of screwing
'Til someone said, "Oh, wanker, what you doing?"
They threw me out, I raised an objection
Weed, corned beef still slipped to my erection
So I′ll fuck 'em, I don't give a toss
I′m going home with a free Ben Toss
I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne
And I fucked it when I was watching porn
I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne
And I fucked it when I was watching porn
Meat fantasies (Meaty, meaty)
Meat fantasies (Meaty, meaty)
Meat fantasies (Meaty, meaty)
Meat fantasies (Meat fantasies)
Ah, that′s right, back with the rhythm
Like a Ginster's pasty covered in jism
Meaty bitches out on a binge
I′m going home with a corned beef binge
Shagging a meat, but I ain't mincing
Hiding my eyes to stop me gagging and wincing
At the smell of the rancid Spammy clam
As the steak tenderizer goes bam, bam, bam
Madame Tussauds, you′ve got nothing on me
I've got my own meat works laboratory
All things the Spice Girls and Missy the Jones
All I want is the meat, don′t care about the bone
I've tried sex shops, I've tried DVDs
It don′t mean shit compared to meats like these
That′s Big Jelly and a coating of lard
These are the things that make my penis go hard
I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne
And I fucked it when I was watching porn
I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne
And I fucked it when I was watching porn
I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne
And I fucked it when I was watching porn
I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne
And I fucked it when I was watching porn
I fucked a corned beef Kelly Osbourne
I fucked a corned beef Kelly Osbourne, you know