Milk Your Goat Songtext
von Example

So I was out and about the other night investigating new forms of
Female manipulation and I saw something that
Makes Rohypno look like a cliche. I mean they
Gotta be drinking the blue drink for that to work

Milk, your goat
Take a sip from your beverage
Where′d you go?
Find a nice word to tell her
Yak, your cow
And if she says to you
No, you don't
Slip something in her drink


I watch her chatting to that fella
And I′m thinking they're never lovers
She's a little minx, he looks like one of the Neville brothers
He′s looking smug, so he′s starting to bug me
This dude is fucking ugly
It's not ′cause I'm jealous of other fellas when
They′re getting into gashes they shouldn't be
Intoxicated women who when sober they wouldn′t be
Getting anywhere but by exhibiting magic tricks
The girl don't even notice when he's starting to grab her tits
Twenty minutes prior to the start of this monologue
This dude was at the bar all by himself looking proper odd
When the pretty girl turned her back for a second or two
Did what all predators do, took his opportunity
He slipped something in her beverage
He knew he never had a chance so to give him more leverage
Cheated, now you′ve got a poor little innocent
Off her fucking face and she′s thinking she loves him
Looking at him longingly, this ain't where she wanna be
Feel like I′m the only one who noticed this anomaly
Morally inclined to interject, intercept the
Dude's plan just before it gets sickening
Heartbeat quickening
Don′t know what he put in her glass but as
They pass me he's grabbing her arse cheeks
If it gets nasty I′ll stop the shenanigans
A spanner in his plan, look, he's over milked it

Milk, your goat
Take a sip from your beverage
Where'd you go?
Find a nice word to tell her
Yak, your cow
And if she says to you
No, you don′t
Slip something in her drink
Milk, your goat
Take a sip from your beverage
Where′d you go?
Find a nice word to tell her
Yak, your cow
And if she says to you
No, you don't
Slip something in her drink

They say there′s more than one way to skin a cat
Well the same goes for milking a goat
Bedding a lady doesn't have to involve colourful beverages


She′s still holding the same drink, she gives him a lame wink
Whatever he gave her, it won't let her brain think
Straightly, now she′s grinning sat in his lap
His mates take turns giving him a pat on the back
He's got her in his grasp, he can do what he wanna do
Take her back to his place, you know what he gonna do
I ain't a fan of it, he don′t deserve her
She′s far too pretty man, how did he manage it?
Just as I get closer, I look at her finger
It all becomes clear why she's letting him linger
He was stood with a sly little look on his boat race
Judging by his threads he clearly has no taste
Except in buying jewellery, so uninhibited
He′s really made a fool of me 'cause now I see what he did
Class rich bastard is far from plastered
He′s worked a little plan that he's totally mastered
Sees his target, checks she′s on the market
And slips a diamond ring into her glass as she guards it
I guess that's pretty cheesy but some men are sleazy
And if you choose wisely some women are easy
When she spots the presence say it's yours to keep
For at least one night she′s yours to keep
Just flash a precious stone, it′s as simple as that
So there you have it lads, Rohypno's old hat

Milk, your goat
Take a sip from your beverage
Where′d you go?
Find a nice word to tell her
Yak, your cow
And if she says to you
No, you don't
Slip something in her drink
Milk, your goat
Take a sip from your beverage
Where′d you go?
Find a nice word to tell her
Yak, your cow
And if she says to you
No, you don't
Slip something in her drink

Look I really gotta clear my throat
Fellas looking silly when they stand and gloat
You ain′t getting nothing if you don't take note
See the opportunity and milk that goat
Look I really gotta clear my throat
Fellas looking silly when they stand and gloat
You ain't getting nothing if you don′t take note
See the opportunity and milk that goat

Milk, your goat
Take a sip from your beverage
Where′d you go?
Find a nice word to tell her
Yak, your cow
And if she says to you
No, you don't
Slip something in her drink
Milk, your goat
Take a sip from your beverage
Where′d you go?
Find a nice word to tell her
Yak, your cow
And if she says to you
Slip something in her drink

So there you have it
You ain't even gotta spend a load of money on a prostitute nowadays
Just stop off at H. Samuel and purchase
A cheap diamond ring for like 25 squids
That′s cheaper than a round in a London club
The important bit is to pick the right girl
She ain't gotta be a complete slag or nothing but just the sort
Who looks like she might be impressed by a cheap piece of jewellery
She takes it and you′ve got a bed for the night
You learn something new every day