Heavy Boobs Songtext
von Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast feat. Rachel Bloom

I got them heavy boobs, heavy boobs
Dense like dying stars
I got them heavy boobs, heavy boobs
I can′t run real far

Let me break down what I just said (aah aah)
Each of my double D's has the volume of a toddler′s head
Not bitchin' bout my boobies
They look super fly in shirts (aah aah)
But if I swung them in your face
You'd be like "oh my god that hurts"
I′m blind, holy crap, I literally can′t see
I have permanent retinal damage
I'm suing you and your heavy boobies

Heavy boobs, heavy boobs
Dense like dying stars
I got them heavy boobs, heavy boobs
They each have their own memoirs


What you gotta know is that
Boobs may be where it′s at (aah aah)
But if you cut them open they're just sacks of yellow fat
Stuff falls into my bra
It′s a little bit of a drag (aah aah)
But when I got to bed at night
It's like opening a Mary Poppins bag

Whee, candy and pennies!

I got them heavy boobs, heavy boobs
Dense like dying stars
I got them heavy boobs, heavy boobs
Don′t need an airbag in my car

Here is a list of all of the objects
That I can hold under my boobs
Stapler, 10 pencils
Paperback copy of "Arabian Nights"
Dog bowl, remote control
Hardback copy of "Wuthering Heights"

See, when a star is dying, it transforms into a red giant
And if the red giant does not have enough mass to fuse carbon
An inert mass of carbon and oxygen builds up in the center
Transforming into a dense white dwarf
And yeah, like, that's my boobs
That's what my boobs are like


I got them heavy boobs, heavy boobs
Dense like a white dwarf
I got them heavy boobs, heavy boobs
They′d be a catch at Fisherman′s Wharf
I got them heavy boobs, heavy boobs
Don't ever forget

That these heavy boobs, heavy boobs
Are just sacks of yellow fat
Like the stuffing of a couch
They′re just sacks of yellow fat
Technically meant to feed a baby
They're just sacks of yellow fat