Love Is… Songtext
von Bo Burnham

I love you like kings love queens
Like a gay geneticist loves designer jeans
I need you like New Orleans needs a drought
Like Hitler′s father needed to learn to pull out
And I want you
Yeah
Like a lawyer slash mathematician wants some kind of proof
And I want you
Yeah
Like JFK wanted...
A car with a roof
Because
Love is taking that dive
Then getting really comfortable and peeing in the pool
And love is a real life porn
Minus all the stuff that makes porn cool
And love is a homeless guy
Searching for treasure in the middle of the rain
And finding a bad of gold coins
And slowly finding out they're all filled with chocolate


And even though he′s heartbroken he can't complain 'cause he was hungry in the first place
Because I love you like Dora loves maps
Like the Pope′s toilet loves Holy Craps
I need you like a voyeur needs a branch
Like boys tossing salad needs a little bit of Neverland Ranch
And I want you Yeah
Like all the gothic kids that all look exactly the same never want to comform
And I want you
Like Anne Frank wanted
Nobody to read her fucking diary
Because a diary is a collection of secret things no one is supposed to read,
That′s the whole point of a diary
Millions of people have breached this little girl's privacy after she was chased by nazis
Kick her while she′s down
And if we met in 10.000 BC
I was your caveman
You's my cave lady
If we got hot, we′d start rubbing
If we got hungry, we'd go clubbing
There′s wooly mammoths
But I will protect us
You're making me devolve into a Homo Erectus
Mother Fucker
And if we met in 1780
I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skin servant lady
Slave
Whenever I could get away from the misses
I'd go to your shed and the I′d steal your kisses
But let′s be serious I'd still work you full time as a slave
There′s a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends
And if we met in 1941
I was a nazi
You' a gypsy on the run
(That′s a little redundant)
That, probably wouldn't have worked out
Because love is your favourite food for every breakfast, lunch and dinner
And love is the holocaust
If you don′t die quick then you don't get thinner
And love is being the owner of the company that makes rape whistles
And even though you started the company with good intentions
Trying to reduce the rate of rape
Now you don't want to reduce it at all
Because if the rape rate declines you′ll see and equal decline in whistles sales
Without rapists who′s going to buy your whistles?
Yeah love is all about...
Whistles