Seltzer Boy Songtext
von Allan Sherman

Seltzer boy
Where are you hiding
If you don′t come right now
I'm gon′ tell you boss on you

Oy.

Don't bring me water
I rather have seltzer
'Cause water don′t bubble
And water don′t fizz

Water I hate it
'Cause it ain′t carbonated
But a glass of seltzer
On the other hand is


Don't bring me Pepsi
Don′t bring me a Kool-Aid
Don't bring a malted
And don′t bring me champagne

I'll tell you what boy
Bring me one scotch and soda
Then you'll take back the scotch, boy
And leave the 2 cents plain

Seltzer boy
When are you coming?
If don′t bring that seltzer
I′m gon' tell Mister Meltzer on you

Seltzer boy
[Seltzer squirting]
That′s better, could you put in a little chocolate sauce?