I Am Songtext
von Victor Buono

In 1938, I was born. Properly, sufficiently
And despite a few hysterical shepherds, quietly
Nine months after my life began
March 3rd, I am. As of now, I am. I′m not very much, but
Even the smallest crumb of bread is still bread, whatever
Bread is. Well, I may not be as big as a crumb, but I'm
Just as good as a crumb and I′m as much me as a crumb
Is a crumb, so there, I am. Now, what am I? I'm sleeping
March 10th, I'm a boy. I mean, I′m gonna be. It′s all settled in
Advance because I got 22 pair of ordinary chromosomes, plus one X
Chromosome and a Y chromosome, and I like bugs, whatever bugs are
A lot of other things have already been decided in advance too. I'll
Have myopic light blue eyes like my mother, and I′ll be left-handed
Like my father, and six feet four inches tall with big bones and big


Feet like my mother's father, and I′ll love music like my uncle Jeff
And I'll be able to play the piano as well as anyone who′s 6'4", big-
Footed, left-handed, and myopic, and I'm going back to sleep again
March 17th, you know, it′s funny. I know so much about me
Already and I don′t even know what my mother looks like
And she doesn't even know I′m living here under her heart
But she's warm, I know, and soft and kind to give cradle
To an imperfect stranger and share with him her blood
March 24th, my heart started beating all by itself and it scared the
Heck out of me. Better get used to it
It′s gonna go on for a long time
April 14th, bulletin! Ah, is that rabbit sick? Whatever
A rabbit is, whatever sick is. But now my mother and father
Know. They're probably working on names. David? David?