Manners Songtext
von Tough Crowd

People so busy saying they′re the best or the baddest
When they're less than average and have detestable manners
Type to chat on the phone while they walk in a shop
And even when they′re being served man the talking don't stop
Not a hello or a thank you or a break in conversation
Like the handset was attached in a surgical operation
People obsessed with their phones like on the back of a bus

Blaring out tinny music that's crackly as chuff
You don′t hear it as much these days maybe they got the hint
Unlike the guy waiting for the train that just hops on in
Before the people inside have a chance to leave
And the only way you can get off is having to dance and weave
Past some impatient prat who doesn′t actually grasp what manners are
Without them you can't spell humanity

Well you kinda can, but you see what I mean
People on trains sat next to their bag they leave on their seat
People who tweet when they eat, in company twittering
And my main pet peeve of all the rest, littering

Clean up after yourself you scrotty mindless turd


Outside or if you go round your man′s house or bird's

Expecting others to clean up after you, that is absurd

Your mum or dad should have slapped you hard back when you first
Decided to break rules, exhibit those bad manners
I proper hate dudes who litter and act gangster
Here′s another one they repeat and ignore
Dudes who come round your house and pee on the floor
We all have occasional aim issues, maybe just take tissues
And leave the room, how you chuffing seen it before?
Also if you're walking and you open the door

When I check back to see if I′m there you could hold it some more
I'll say thank you cos I'm polite and you held it so you′re nice
And not the type of person to let it close on my jaw
Papen etiquette in closing cos I know it′s been a while
If there's a space for two side by side walk single file
While you walk past another don′t force them onto the road
Cos you're too busy chatting about some horrible show


Finally if you′re on a busy street don't just stop walking
There′s people behind in a rush who are not talking
For some reason you don't look to check what's behind
And not bump into your stupid self and still end up apologising

Thank you, excuse me, you′re welcome, please
Can I be of assistance, would you mind terribly?
I beg your pardon, I do apologise, many thanks
How do you do, very well, much obliged
Thank you, excuse me, you′re welcome, please
Can I be of assistance, would you mind terribly?
I beg your pardon, I do apologise, many thanks
How do you do, very well, much obliged

Don't act like manners don′t matter they do

To the line jumper too proud to stand in the queue
Nobody's seeing nothing to them stop being so British
Getting mad about it just ask them to move politely of course

I remember this one time I booked a seat on the train to Edinburgh
Just my luck why I can hear you asking this one guy
Sat where the copy of my ticket was above right
Excuse me I think you′re sat in the wrong seat
See my ticket I booked it three months ago for me please
I don't mean to be a massive stick in the mud
But I paid a lot to be here there′s some space further up
Pshh I'm not moving from here it's as simple as that

At that moment I felt like putting his face through the glass
But I didn′t, I went to the conductor and grasped
Got him to move and now I′m the one who feels bad

How's that work? It′s a lose lose situation
Should have just sat somewhere else instead and used my patience
Saw people looking at me like it's my fault
Embarrassed by the confrontation I
Can feel their eyes scald, forget that
Don′t be too scared to make a fuss when it's founded
If someone takes the mick you shouldn′t stand it
Too many times you've let them off too easy yeah I'm very sure
So don′t let them get away with that behaviour anymore