Jiggs Casey Songtext
von Steven Wright
Jiggs Casey Songtext
Got on an elevator and this old guy got on with me
I was opening the buttons, I pushed them before
I said, where are you going?
He said, Phoenix. So I pushed Phoenix
Doors opened, two tumbleweeds flew on
We stepped off, we were in downtown Phoenix
I said, you know, you′re the kind of guy I'd really like to hang around with
He said, well, I′m going out to the desert, you want to go?
I said, sure
So we hopped in his car and started driving out to the desert
He told me he spent most of his life working on a research project for the
Government trying to find out who financed the pyramids
He worked on it 30 years and they paid him an incredible amount of money
He told me he was pretty sure it was a guy named Eddie
We get out to his house 500 miles in the middle of the desert
The phone rings, he says, you get it
So I went over and I picked it up
The man said, Stephen Wright? I said, yeah
He said, this is Mr. Haynes, your student loan director from your bank
I said, yeah. He said, you're 62 bank payments behind
I found out today from the institute you attended that they received none of the
$17,000 we loaned you
I'd really like to know what you did with it
So I went upstairs, I′m not going to lie to you
I gave the money to my friend James Casey
He built a nuclear weapon with it
I′d really appreciate it if you wouldn't call me anymore
There are several hobbies which I enjoy to the fullest
I have a large seashell collection which I keep scattered on the beaches
All over the world. Maybe you′ve seen it
I also collect rare photographs. I have two very rare photographs
One is a picture of Houdini locking his keys in his car
The other one is a rare photograph of Norman Rockwell beating up a child
I was in the Museum of Natural History in New York
I accidentally walked into the ladies' room and said, sorry, I thought this was
An exhibit. They got all upset. Women, can′t live with them, can't shoot them
I was opening the buttons, I pushed them before
I said, where are you going?
He said, Phoenix. So I pushed Phoenix
Doors opened, two tumbleweeds flew on
We stepped off, we were in downtown Phoenix
I said, you know, you′re the kind of guy I'd really like to hang around with
He said, well, I′m going out to the desert, you want to go?
I said, sure
So we hopped in his car and started driving out to the desert
He told me he spent most of his life working on a research project for the
Government trying to find out who financed the pyramids
He worked on it 30 years and they paid him an incredible amount of money
He told me he was pretty sure it was a guy named Eddie
We get out to his house 500 miles in the middle of the desert
The phone rings, he says, you get it
So I went over and I picked it up
The man said, Stephen Wright? I said, yeah
He said, this is Mr. Haynes, your student loan director from your bank
I said, yeah. He said, you're 62 bank payments behind
I found out today from the institute you attended that they received none of the
$17,000 we loaned you
I'd really like to know what you did with it
So I went upstairs, I′m not going to lie to you
I gave the money to my friend James Casey
He built a nuclear weapon with it
I′d really appreciate it if you wouldn't call me anymore
There are several hobbies which I enjoy to the fullest
I have a large seashell collection which I keep scattered on the beaches
All over the world. Maybe you′ve seen it
I also collect rare photographs. I have two very rare photographs
One is a picture of Houdini locking his keys in his car
The other one is a rare photograph of Norman Rockwell beating up a child
I was in the Museum of Natural History in New York
I accidentally walked into the ladies' room and said, sorry, I thought this was
An exhibit. They got all upset. Women, can′t live with them, can't shoot them
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