Ground Rules Songtext
von Moshe Kasher

I heard someone groan. Most of you laughed, that′s 'cause you′re
Smart. One of you groaned, and I'm not judging. I just wanna say
Early on in this set, that if at any point tonight you do become
Offended by what you hear, that's okay. You′re a big girl, and
You can do that. But please do not tell me after the show, ′
Cause I don't give a fuck. It doesn′t stop people though, they


Come up to you after shows, they're wasting their energy in the
Back like, "Hey buddy, hi, yeah, you, hi, over here, yeah, let′s
Have a word, thanks, yeah. I was watching your little show, and
I need to let you know I was pretty offended by what you had to
Say tonight." I'm like, "Okay, well, if it makes you feel any
Better, I was just kidding. The entire time. That′s what I do at
The comedy club, lady that doesn't know how things on Earth work."

I think it's important for me to set down that kind of ground rule
Early on in the show so that if at any point tonight you do become
Offended, now you know that that was just you being a bitch. So
Don′t let that happen to you, and
Everything will be okay. Deal? Deal