The CD Jokes Songtext
von Mitch Hedberg

I have to record this CD, so I have tell all the jokes I have. I′ve

Never recorded a CD before. I've told a lot of these jokes before

But I gotta put em on a CD now, see? It′s all gonna spread it out


All these jokes on a CD right here. These are the CD jokes. I thought
Of it today. I whittled the list down today. These are the jokes I
Could think of today. Which means they are the CD jokes. I might
Think of another one that won't be on this list, and I'll throw it
In, in a moment of spontaneity that you won′t be able to detect
Cause you won′t notice that it's not on the list. But I will be
Proud of the spontaneity, and you′ll see it in my stride. So
Don't fuck up the bass tonight, Chuck, cause we′re on a CD here
Just fuckin keep it goin. Don't fuck up a scale. Cause these
Jokes are all gonna go right here. See I wish I could play Little

League now, I′d kick some fuckin ass. I'd be way better than
Before. They'd back up now. Alright, that joke kicked off the
CD right there. It′s kinda weak, man. I got an ant farm, but them
Fellas didn′t grow shit. Go buy some carrots for me maybe
I like carrots. I dressed up for the CD. I had a little bit of fun