Teeth Songtext
von Mitch Hedberg

I was getting my teeth whitened
But then I said, fuck that, I′ll just get a tan instead
I got some tartar-controlled toothpaste
I still got tartar, but that shit's under control
If the tartar gets out of line
I′m like, come on, man, you know the deal
Fall in
You crazy-ass tartar


I got so much tartar, I don't have to dip my fish sticks in shit
That's actually kind of gross, you know
After that joke, I always clarify that I′m just joking
I don′t know how much tartar I actually have
I believe it's the average amount
If we all did a tartar test right now
My name would be right in the fucking middle
I would like to go fishing and catch a fish stick
That would be convenient

I could easily get a job with Mrs. Paul′s
They'd just put me in a boat with some empty boxes
And I would return them to the freezer section of your
Neighborhood grocery store
You know when there′s a fishing show on TV
They catch the fish, but they let it go
They don't want to eat the fish
But they do want to make it late for something

Where were you
I got caught!
Bullshit, let me see the inside of your lip!
Fish are always eating other fish
If fish could scream, the ocean would be loud as shit
You would not want to submerge your head
Nothing but fish going, ah fuck
I thought I looked like that rock