The Gnu Song Songtext
von Michael Flanders and Donald Swann

A year ago last thursday, I was strolling in the zoo
When I met a man who thought he knew the lot
He was laying down the law about the habbits of baboons
And the number of quills a porcupine has got
So I asked him "What′s that creature's name?" and he answered "That′s a helk!"
And I'd have gone on thinking that was true
If the animal in question hadn't put that chap to shame,
And remarked?"I ain′t a helk? I′m a gnu!
I'm a gnu? I′m a gnu
The g-nicest work of g-nature in the zoo
I'm a gnu? how do you do?
You really oughtta g-know w-who′s w-who
I'm a gnu? spelt G - N - U
I′m not a camel or a kangaroo
So let me introduce, I'm neither man nor moose
Oh, g-no, g-no, g-no, I'm a gnu!"


I had taken furnished lodgings down at Rustington-on-sea
Whence I travelled on to Aston-under-lyne
On the second night I stayed there I was wakened from a dream
Which I′ll tell you all about some other time
Among the hunting trophies on the wall above my bed
Stuffed and mounted was a face I thought I knew
A bison? An oakpi? Could it be a hearty beast?
Then I seem to hear a voice?"I′m a gnu!

I'm a gnu? a-g-nother gnu
I wish I could g-nash my teeth at you
I′m a gnu? how do you do?
You really oughtta g-know w-who's w-who
I′m a gnu? spelt G - N - U
Call me bison or okapi and I'll sue
Nor am I in the least like that dreadful hearty beast
Oh, g-no, g-no, g-no, I′m a gnu!
G-no, g-no, g-no, I'm a gnu!
G-no, g-no, g-no, I'm a gnu!"