Learning Things About Myself Songtext
von Louis C.K.

Once upon a time, you dress so fine
Do the bumps a damn, here in your prime, damn you
People call, say, "Beware, doll"
Your banner fall, you thought they were all kidding you
You used to laugh about anybody that was hanging out
Now you don′t talk too loud
Now you don't seem so proud about having to be scrounging
You′re next, pick me up

How does it feel?
How does it feel?
You're out here all alone
You're out here all alone
Like a living stone

Well


Mm, my, my favorite sex position, eh
My favorite sexual position is reverse cowgirl, but I′m on top
Are you picturing it, it′s good, it's really good
Nobody gets pregnant, it′s a lot of fun

I'm trying to learn things about myself
Um, I gotta scale for my bathroom
I′m not tryna lose weight, I'm just interested in the data
And I did learn something, I learn this because I weigh myself every night
Before I go to bed
And I also weigh myself in the morning when I get up
And I-, here′s what I learnt
I weigh two pounds less every morning than when I went to bed

And I found out why, it's 'cause I shit in my bed every night
I do, it′s like a full two pound dump in bed
And then I turn out the lights and I go to sleep
′Cause I don't wanna sleep alone
Your needs change when you get older
At my age, a big pile of shit is as good as anybody