Come Inside Me Songtext
von John Caparulo

Yeah, I get weirded out by shit, you know? Like, I remember when I
Had my first apartment by myself, like single, nobody else lived
There, so of course, bachelor pad, first thing I called phone sex
I got so creeped out by that. It wasn′t fucking yesterday, all right?
It was a lot of years before, like I still had dial-up at that point
But it's just, you know, you call up and it′s just, like I didn't
Realize, like, oh I gotta talk too. I can't do that shit. If I could
Do that, there′d be a real girl here. And they get on there, they′re
Like, press one for a buxom blonde, press two for a hot brunette
Press three to join a party line and you can join or just listen in

I'm like, all right. I can press three and be a fucking weirdo

And I′m just, I'm looking at three like, that′s a big line to cross

Isn't it? But I′m doing it because it's my first apartment with my

Own, I'm the only one that sees the phone bill, so it′s not like I

Have a roommate that′s gonna go, "did you make a $600 phone call the

Other day?" "Yeah, I thought my buddy's area code was 900 and I

Fucked it up." I hit three, there′s just a guy and a girl going back

And forth, you know, and she's like, "yeah, you horny baby?" He′s


Like, "yeah, I'm horny bitch." I′m like, whoa, be nice. I don't want
To be on his team. I'm just sitting there quiet, listening to them go
Back and forth, you know, "yeah, baby..." I′m like a fucking ten year
Old, you know? And I hear he′s like, "yeah, you like that?" She's
Like, "yeah, I like it." She′s like, "are you gonna come?" He's like
"Yeah, I′m gonna come." She's like, "I want you to come inside me."
And I snapped, I′m like, "whoa! You barely fucking know this guy."
It was the first thing I said, and they're like, "hey, who's that?"
And I′m like, "oh, shit, is Bill there? Fuck, I had the wrong number
For the past 22 minutes." I can′t do this, I can't get into stuff

Like that. I get weirded out. I′m one of those guys that thinks too

Much, like I can't say I′ve never had a one night stand, it just

Wasn't my call. I just wasn′t invited back. But I'm still one of
Those guys, like I never think in terms of today. I think too far in
Advance. Like I remember I had a girl, it was after a show here a
Few years ago, it was a hot chick, comes up to me after a show, you
Know, she's like, "I want to hang out with you tonight, where are
You going?" I look down, she had a tattoo on her boob of a dude′s
Name that wasn′t mine. And I just can't think in terms of that. I′m
Like, that's gonna fucking bother me eventually. My mom′s not gonna
Like that shit at all. Unless you remove that boob or I change my
Name to fucking Malik, that's gonna bug the shit out of me. It′s not

Gonna work out. But I get weirded out by stuff. My wife, like after


We'd been together for a while, like, it took her a while. She
Finally asked me one night, she's like, "how come you′re so quiet
When we have sex? How come you don′t make more noise when we have
Sex?" I'm like, "I guess because I′m not really used to there being
Another person around." I wasn't really trying to draw a crowd up to
This point, I guess. Like, do you really want me to make more noise?
Listen to my voice. What′s gonna come out of here that's gonna make
This shit hotter, you know? Like, oh yeah, that′s fucking sweet baby
This is good for telling jokes, but this will dry your shit up quick
In the dark. I shut the fuck up during sex. But she put me on the

Spot one night though, we're having sex, she's like, "come on, talk

Dirty, it′ll be fun." I′m like, "shut up." Like, it won't be fun

It′ll be weird. Because nothing I say is gonna sound cool. Some guys

Can say shit and sound cool, like you watch porn. Those guys say shit

I'm not gonna say. Like, I can′t imagine having that much confidence

During sex. "Oh, I'm gonna come." "Give me your forehead." I can′t

Say that shit. You know what I say when I'm gonna go? "Uh oh. I need

A tissue." She wouldn't let it go though. "Come on, I hate when

You′re so quiet, just try." I′m like, "I don't wanna." She′s like

"Why not?" I'm like, "I don′t know what to say." She's like, "you
Can say anything, I don′t care." I'm like, "you're wrong about that
Shit." And I feel weird having this fucking conversation right now
Because I can′t say anything, like, I was trying to think of shit
To say that I could say. Like, I don′t want to talk trash I can't
Back up, you know? Like, be back there like, "yeah, take that."
Take fucking what? I already know. See, I′m not setting myself up
For a fucking one-liner here, you know? "Yeah, take that without
Laughing." So I was trying to think of shit to say that I could say
But now there's an awkward silence, like she′s waiting for me to

Say something and I've got nothing. I was trying to think of shit
That I′ve heard, but I panicked. The best I could come up with on
The spot, I was like, "uh, I want you to come inside me." Then there
Was like a really long pause after that. To the point where I look
Over, even the pug was like, "I don't know what you said, but you
Just fucked up." Where the fuck were you at on that one? You didn't
Have any suggestions. It seemed like forever, like I even started
Hoping, like maybe she didn′t hear that shit, you know? Finally I
Hear, "what the fuck did you just say?
" I said, "give me your forehead."