The Problem Songtext
von Godley & Creme

If a man A who weighs eleven stone leaves from his home at 8:30 in

The morning in a car whose consumption is 16.25 miles per gallon at

An average speed of 40 miles an hour to his office which is 12 miles

Away and stops for a coffee on the way for 15 minutes and also puts

Air in one of his tyres which has a slow puncture letting out air

At a rate of 2 pounds per square inch per mile travelled when the

Car is moving at 32 miles an hour and he picks up a hitch-hiker B

Who weighs 14 stone plus suitcase, if hitch-hiker B who is a

Political activist distributes leaflets from his suitcase each of

Which weigh an ounce at the scale of 2 leaflets per person at every

Bus stop and every vehicle on either side of them at every red

Traffic light during the journey which includes 20 bus stops with

An average 6 people per stop, 5 lorries each with a passenger, one

Of which exchanged a Yorkie Pie weighing an ounce for 12 of the


Leaflets, and 2 coaches each containing 51 people, 7 of which from
One coach return the leaflets and 16 people from the other coach who
Ask for a further leaflet each for a member of one of their families
Assuming that man A then had to travel a further 2.86 miles out of
His way to drop off hitch-hiker B, how late would man B be in
Arriving at the office by 9:30 if he still had 6 miles
To travel and his watch was running 23 minutes slow but
The clock at the office was running 2 minutes faster than
His but was in fact 17 minutes and 3 seconds ahead of
The correct time which was 2:30 in the morning in Caracas?

If when 5 miles from the office he telephoned to his boss to apologise

For being late but was told by his boss C to pick up a package 2

63 Miles away from his present location and deliver it to client D

In Bristol by train by 4:30 that afternoon and at the same time man

D was mistakenly told to come to London to receive same package from

Man A, now man A′s train, train 1, left 30 minutes late but man D's

Train, train 2, left 5 minutes early, so when the trains passed each

Other train 1 was travelling at 75 miles an hour to make up for lost

Time and train 2 was travelling at 52 miles an hour but man A reached

Bristol 30 or later according to his watch which was now running


5 Minutes slower than man D′s would have been had he not got off
The train and checked the correct time at a station between Bristol
And London and stopped to phone A's boss, man C double-checked A
Would be there, meet him and discover his mistake, catch next train
Train 3, back to Bristol which unlike A's train 1 which stopped at
4 Stations on the way for 6 minutes each stop was an express train
D′s train caught up with A′s train 1 4 miles from Bristol as the
Trains drew alongside each other, A's train 1 was travelling at 12
Miles an hour and D′s train 3 was travelling at 13.6 miles an hour
And man A sat in the front, how long would it take to fill the back?