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von Elaine Stritch

I′ve interviewed Pablo Picasso
And a countess named Di Frasso
I've interviewed the great Stravinsky
But my greatest achievement was the interview I had
With the star who worked for Minsky
I met her at the Yankee Clipper
And she didn′t unzip one zipper
I said, "Miss Lee, you are such an artist
Tell me why you never miss
What do you think of while you work?"
And she said
While I work my thoughts go something like this
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Walter Lippmann wasn't brilliant today
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Will Saroyan ever write a great play?
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I was reading Schopenhauer last night
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And I think that Schopenhauer was right


I don't want to see Zarina
I don′t want to meet Cobina
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I′m an intellectual
I don't like a deep contralto
Or a man whose voice is alto
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I′m a heterosexual
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It took intellect to master my art
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Who the hell is Margie Hart?
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I consider Dali's paintings passe
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Will they make the Metropolitan pay?
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English people don′t say "clerk" they say "clark"
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Anybody who says "clark" is a jerk
I adore the great Confucius
And the lines of Luscious Lucius
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I am so eclectic
I don't care for either Mickey Mouse or Rooney, makes me sicky
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I′m a little hectic
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My artistic taste is classic and dear
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Who the hell's Lily St. Cyr?