Singers Songtext
von Eddie Murphy

And this is the business to be in if you want some pussy
That′s why I got in show business, for pussy
I figure if Jimmie Walker can fuck, I'm fucking everybody
Being a comic, though, ain′t like being no singer
The singers get all the pussy
Like the busboys, they fuck everybody
Busboys will fuck anything that move
Come to my house, the fish stop swimming
They don't play
The singers get pussy
'Cause you don′t have to even be, you don′t even have to look good
You can sing and get pussy
Just be interesting, 'cause there′s sex
Symbols getting pussy that's ugly motherfuckers
′Cause all you have to do is sing, it's something about singing
That′s the business, you sing, women go crazy
'Cause Mick Jagger is an ugly motherfucker
With big-ass lips
Mick Jagger's lips so big, black people
Be going, "You got some big-ass lips


Them some big motherfucking lips"
But he′s singing
And you sing, you get over
Luther Vandross a big Kentucky Fried Chicken-eating motherfucker
But he put his shit on there, he′ll go, "Dibba-dibba-dibba-dibba"
Women go, "Aaaaah!"
Sing, 'cause all you got to do is sing
Michael Jackson, who can sing, and is a good-looking guy
But ain′t the most masculine fellow in the world
See, but that's, that′s Michael's hook, his sensitivity
That′s why women be saying, "Michael's just so sensitive"
And they eat that shit up, Mike know
Too, he be using women in concerts
I seen Mike walk up to girls on the stage, be in the audience, he say
"Is it alright if I come down there and sing to you?"
And the women go, "Aaaaah!"
Then if you, if you don't scream, Mike′ll
Get real sensitive and cry on your ass
Did you hear that record "She′s Out of My Life"? Mike'll go
"So I′ve learned that love's not possession
And I′ve learned love won't wait
Now I′ve learned that love needs expression
But I learned too late
Tito, get me some tissue
Jermaine, stop teasing"
You just sing
I like dudes with masculine voices, man, like a Teddy Pendergrass
Teddy just come out, take the lyrics and go
"You got, you got, you got what I need"
Them scaredy bitches into liking him
That motherfucker's crazy, throw your panties on the stage
That's what′s happening
I like Elvis Presley
Really, I give credit where credit is due
When Elvis was young, he was a bad motherfucker, boy
Elvis was bad
He was vicious and shit, sing his ass off
He sang so good, they let him do movies, he couldn′t act
They said, "Fuck it, let him sing all his dialogue"
They did, everything Elvis said, they
Said, "Elvis, we gotta win this race"
"We gotta win this race"
"Elvis, want some lemonade?"
"Lemonade"
"That cool, refreshing drink"
Let him sing 'til it was over, too
Elvis was 42 years old, remember right before he croaked?
He would come out, his stomach was all fat and shit
And his butt be sticking out and shit
Looking like he had to shitty walk on the stage like this
"I′ve lived a life that's full
I′ve traveled each and every highway of the world
But more, what's more than this"
"Excuse me"
Sing, that′s the key to it
You don't even have to be able to talk
Just sing and get famous
'Cause James Brown been singing 20 years
I don′t know what the fuck James is talking about
I don′t understand shit James says
I met him once at Saturday Night Live
I walked up and said, "James, I love your stuff"
James says, "Somebody said that"
And whatever James is saying is some real heavy shit to James
'Cause it′s real meaningful shit to James
'Cause at the end of every sentence, he end it off with, "Ha!"
He meant that shit that he just said, boy
Everything, he said, "Ha!"
And you get mad, you start putting the needle back, saying
"What the fuck did I just miss?"
"Send me love, all the people say, ha!"
"Ha!"
That′s a James Brown lyric
He wrote that shit
She was writing a song, said, "I need a word here"
"Hey!"
"That's good."
And get this song going, and all the songs sounded the same
Jamie going, "Some of the, bond of people think I′m alone
What's my, shit, diddy, diddy you, ha, ha, I'm talking, I don′t
Know, comedy, parmesan, other side, sitting in the back
Grandma, no one else, I, I, I, they made you, that′s that one
More people know you now, haha, flip 'em in love, got ′em in
Doubt, by the people say, jump back, wanna kill myself, hey
Diddy you, save you, ten back, got 'em, I′m about to do my thing."
"Yeah."
"Moving?"
"Yeah."
"Groovy?"
"Yeah."
"He's talking to the band and lose you, right, said, ′Tell me about
Love,' band said, 'Yeah,′ ′Did you,' ′Yeah,' ′Tell me about love,'
′Yeah,' band be going, 'What the fuck is James talking about? I don′t
Know if we getting paid, keep singing,′ 'Yeah, yeah,′ 'Hahaha,′ and
People take singing, they love, something about singing that people
Just love and shit, 'cause I remember, I did Stevie Wonder on the
Show once, and Black people lost their motherfucking minds. I had
Brothers rolling up on me going, ′Hey, you the motherfucker that be
Doing Stevie Wonder? That shit ain't funny, motherfucker. Don't you
Never let me see you do that shit again. I′ll fuck you up. Stevie
Wonder′s a musical genius. I have all of his albums, motherfucker
I have all of them. I have 'Music on My Mind,′ I have motherfucking '
Talking Book,′ I have 'From Feeling It for,′ 'From Feeling It,' ′
From Feeling It for,′ fuck it, you know the good ones. I got all that
Shit, man. Don't you never let me see you do that shit again, ever
′ I got mad, I was hanging out with Stevie two months ago, I said, '
Look, Steve, I get too much motherfucking flack over this impression
I don′t like doing it, I ain't doing this shit no more.′ Stevie said
'Well, I feel that,' I said, ′Shut the fuck up,′ 'cause you gotta
Cut Steve off quick, ′cause if he get a roll going, he'll talk your
Ears off. You ever see Steve win a Grammy and come up and give one
Of them long-ass acceptance speeches? They′re saying, 'The winner is
Stevie Wonder,′ Stevie be talking about, 'And I'd like to say that
All the people in the world today, God′s children and,′ and he be, '
Just take the motherfucking award and get the fuck out,′ 'cause if you
Don′t say nothing, the credits will be rolling and Stevie going, '
And I′d like to thank,' I be in the car, I said, 'Just shut the fuck
Up, Stevie. I′m telling you, you a genius and all that shit, but you
My boy, man, we hanging, I mean, like, it′s nice and all that shit
But I don't, I don′t appreciate all the flack, 'cause personally
The piano and the singing, I told you how I feel about singing
I ain′t impressed. You wanna impress me, take the wheel for
A little while, motherfucker. I heard that shit, man. That
Shit wasn't funny. Then I suppose at any little sketch, Stevie
Crash into a tree, right? Haha, very funny, motherfucker
Your mother got a wooden leg with a kickstand, motherfucker
Your mother got a mouth in the back of her neck, and the bitch
Chew like this. Motherfucker, Stevie Wonder jokes and shit."