Tossed Salad Songtext
von Chris Rock

See, the whole damn country is so damn conservative now
Everybody′s like, jails ain't tough enough, jails ain′t tough enough
We got to have a death penalty, jails ain't tough enough
Your jails are fucked up, okay? Don't believe the hype
The problem is the reason jails are so crowded
Because life is fucked up too
When people are broke, people are starving, life-, shi
Life is catching up to jail shi, if you live in a whole project, a new jail ain′t that bad

Shi, I was watching on HBO, had this special on the jail special a couple of months ago
Now, normally, when you see a special about jail
It′s on regular TV, and there's a lot of shit
Don′t show, oh, not the HBO jail special
Oh, they showed it all, they were interviewing a brother in there, they said now
Sir when a new inmate comes in and he wants some drugs
How do you initiate him?
The guy goes, "Well, the first thing I do is make him toss my salad"


The guy's like, "Toss my salad, well, what′s that?"
Guy, "Well having your salad tossed means having your asshole eaten out"
With jelly or syrup? I prefer syrup, sir
I'm not making this up, and then the guy said no
Why must you go through all of that sir
Why not just oral sex
He goes well when a man sucking your dick, he can pretend that′s something else

When he's eating ass, he knows it's ass
Way to go, we don′t need a death penalty
We′ve got the tossed salad, man
Shi, if I had a choice right now between the electric chair tossing a salad
I'd be like, "So, we plug it"
It shouldn′t I be wet

Everybody talking hoo, schools are out of control
Oh, they're out of control, we need prayer in the schools
We don′t need prayer in schools, we need the tossed salad man in school
That'll straighten the kids out
Hey, Jimmy, you got a D, you know what you gotta do
No! No! I don′t wanna toss the salad, I don't wanna toss the salad
I'ma read I′ma learn to read