Thursday Songtext
von Chris Gethard

But she knows me really well
She knows how I′m gonna react
Soon as she says it, the spell lifts
Because I realize it's Sunday
It′s actually after midnight
Technically, it's Monday
I can make it to Thursday
Even if I feel this horrible the entire time
I can do that
When you put it like that, I can do that

I can make it to Thursday

And I'll tell you something about my life

My life′s taken this very unexpected turn the past few years
Because I′ve started talking about this stuff in my comedy
A little bit, never as in-depth as I'm doing with this show

And I′ve written about this side of myself a couple times online
And this has led to a situation I never saw coming


Where I am not exaggerating when I say that at this point
I've now received thousands of emails, Facebook messages
Any way people get in touch, they do
And they′re people who need help
And a lot of times, I swear to you
They don't even know I′m a comedian
They don't know anything about me
They'll just Google "who′s willing to talk about this stuff"
And then this thing I wrote comes up
And so often they are really young and they need help

And you′ll be happy to hear any time somebody asks me for help
I say the same thing straight away
I go, "Look, first things first, I'm not a professional

And it′s not like I can tell you something my shrink told me
Because she's not really a professional either"

But when I answer these messages
Especially when they′re from young kids
I almost always find myself telling them
Some version of that Thursday story
And I say, "For me it was that
It was a length of time that I needed to last

For you, maybe it's a place where you feel safe
Or a person you feel okay opening up to
I don′t know, it probably will not be that easy
You don't get to pick what breaks you
You really cannot predict what's going to save you
But please keep your eyes peeled for it, please
Because I bet that it′s out there

And I bet you can find yours


Because I found mine

And I never dreamed I′d be strong enough to say that"

I mean, there were fifteen years of my life
You guys have heard about them tonight
Fifteen years where the entire time for fifteen years
I was just completely convinced that I was never gonna feel better

And now when I call my mom, she doesn't have to be scared

And I′m not wasting all this time
Pretending comedy is gonna fix me somehow
It's not, this isn′t the type of thing that gets fixed
You just, you live with it

And I don't hide it anymore
I never have to hide it from anyone ever again

Because my wife has seen this stuff at its worst
And she still loves me
And I still love that leggy, red-headed punk rocker
Even if she doesn′t know how to close a goddamn cabinet door