Puppet Guy Songtext
von Almost Vinyl

There′s a man out there who's perfect you see
Butterflies oh they arise when he looks at me
He′s got a brand new ride
And he takes me out to get ice cream late at night
We sleep under the stars
And he moves soft and slow
But I didn't know his job until he took me to a show

This dude's a fuckin′ puppet guy
I can′t stand the fuckin' stare from its beady little eyes
It′s sittin' on the shelf and fuckin′ watchin' us at night
So go ahead and bitch and pout
You′d better burn that fuckin' thing or I'm walkin′ out
It′s the wood or me
It's endlessly creepy
I don′t care how much you cry
I can't date a fuckin′ puppet guy


There's a hole in the woods where I buried it
The next day it was empty and I threw a fit
He denied his involvement
But he also said he needed it to stay solvent
Now he sleeps on the couch
Oh there ain′t no doubt
Cause any night that thing could show up and kill us now

This dude's a fuckin' puppet guy
Everywhere I look it′s in the corner of my eye
We started takin′ shifts to keep a safe watch overnight
All he does is bitch and pout
But deep inside he knows that thing could gut him like a trout
It's the wood or me
It′s endlessly creepy
Until that little fucker dies
I'm stuck with a fuckin′ puppet guy
So I went to an army surplus store one day
And bought a used flamethrower they had on display

This dude's a fuckin′ puppet guy
And I used him as bait to catch that little guy
It slipped inside a window with a fuckin' kitchen knife
And that thing bitched me out
As I burned it's fuckin′ head and the rest of the house down
It was the wood or me
Was endlessly creepy
A new house he′ll have to buy


I can't date a
Fuckin′
Puppet guy