Couldn’t Get Laid Songtext
von vbnd

Now John ain′t the top of the class
He got B's, C′s, alone and he's sad
Asked a girl to prom promptly
She dropped him and laughed
Lo and behold he broke
Showed up to the school with a strap like

This is for the bitch that never noticed me
This is for the teachers that said I had trouble focusing
One shot, two, three, four down and bruised
It's for real now the feds all approaching him like

Whole school panics, news crew cameras
SWAT team, cop scene, rooftop vantage
Kids got bandages and John′s gun stammers
While they load up the red dot blammer like

Oops
All ′cause he couldn't get laid


I mean it probably wasn′t just that
But it didn't help, you know?
All ′cause he couldn't get laid
But like, figure it out dude

Donnie′s the American dream
Middle class and white, quite the American scene
His wife ain't giving out 'cause she just sick of his shit
So he at work steady flirting with the intern chick
′Cause somehow, recently he was promoted to pal

Walk around the office like nobody′s stopping me now
And one night, after hours he got a little too cocky
And put his hands on an innocent body like
Yikes
And his whole life flashes 'cause HR stamped it
He′s laid off, rape charge, court case happens
His wife vanished, oh how tragic
He's trapped in a slammer on his knees like
Please forgive me

All ′cause he couldn't get laid

Like what′s your, just fucking jack off or something
Like why?
All 'cause he couldn't get laid


Figure it out bro
All ′cause he couldn′t get laid
All 'cause he couldn′t get laid

And it keeps on happening in repeat patterns
Men lie, women lie, police cap it
Worldwide genocide led by captains
And it always feels like it might be a phase
Prayers ain't action, no thoughts factored
Bad law in charge, policy backwards
Feels like sometimes all this happens
′Cause someone up there is just not getting laid