College Songtext
von Tom Cotter

Anybody in college here?
Weiner dog woman?
Where′d you go to school?
What year are you?

Senior, I'm in my third year of drunk driving school
What are you studying?
Here′s a quick impression of you in five years
Welcome to Burger King, can I take your order?
The hell is that gonna do for ya?
I'm kidding


College for me was the best 28 semesters of my life
It really was
I was a political science major
I had a minor, her name was Debbie, nice kid
And her parents are litigating

I dated a computer major when I was in college
And that didn't work out
′Cause she refused to interface with my wang
I think you know what I′m saying

She got the old floppy disk and the hard drive
She just wouldn't let me log in
And all I wanted was a little megabyte on the old laptop unit
But, uh
I pulled down my pants and she said
You have a Microsoft Mouse
And I′m not gonna lie to you, that mega hurt
Then I found out she was user friendly

I might've gotten one of those viruses you hear so much about

Now I just wanna reboot her in the ass


That′s the story of my love life