Unfuckingbelievable Songtext
von The Splinters

Monday night, bopping it, scrolling through my Tinder
Seeing men′s social reputations, I can hinder
I spot an old bloke looking for a young thing
I set my profile pic and tell him first I'll need a ring
Hey beautiful, he messages, I want you to see this
Then there′s no other words, just a photo of his penis
I tell him naw, man, look, I think I've had enough
He tells me that's not fair, send me pictures of your butt
Send me photos of your legs, and tell me if you are a virgin
And so we both agreed to do the real thing in person
I guess the dirty bugger wasn′t much of a thinker
′Cause I catfished the muppet, hook, line and sphincter

Na na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na
Na na na
Na na na

Na na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na


My cousin is stinky, man, he's out of control
He′s unemployed and fucking useless, and he's still on the dole
It′s been a year, and he's still here, sinking crates and crates of beer
He won′t shut his stinkin' mouth, he don't know what it′s all about
I′ll celebrate when he moves out, the cunt deserves a month of gout
He's in his bedroom just smoking, drinking Monster every round
His lungs are on their knees, crying, begging, and pleading
Fuck a hairline, man, I think his brain stem′s receding
I hit the town on a Tuesday, and he's already there
He′s sunken half a keg of Guinness, and he don't wanna share
I′m talkin' bout the dirty rotten cheating absolute stinker
I'll evict the muppet, hook, line and sphincter

Na na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na
Na na na
Na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na
Na na na
Na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na
Na na na
Na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na
Na na na
Na na na