L.A. Arteest Café Songtext
von Stew

I left L.A. way back when
When it was still breathing
To pitch a tent in Brooklyn
And simulate a heathen
But one day I decided
To surf the cold Atlantic
So I hung a tent to Amsterdam
Said goodbye to the panic

Everything was swinging
I became a speculator
I looked up from a table
It was twenty years later
So I jumped into a plane
Said take me to L.A

I′ll only be a week
I'm gonna sleep at L′Artiste Cafe

L'Artiste Cafe

See I wanna see some friends
Who knew me way back when


I wanna see the trends
All the girls are squeezing in

I wanna search for traces
Of all my ancient places
Sip some cappuccino
Holding court at my oasis
I see the smoggy skyline
I shed a little tear
The bird touches down
I break into a cheer
I'm scribbling ideas
For a freaky one-act play

But most of all I′m thinking

′Bout the hang at L'Artiste Cafe
L′Artiste Cafe

The pilot says we're gonna
Have to taxi for an hour
The stewardesses got sweeter
And the passengers got sour
I slipped into a dream


Aided by Jim Beam
And the lullaby of flight attendants
Passing magazines

First dream is of Moses
Trying to park the 405
Helicopter gargoyles
Broadcasting it live
A policeman with fangs
Says are you in a gang
No but do you know the way

To L′Artiste Cafe
L'Artiste Cafe

Second dream I′m crawling
'Cross a sidewalk made of sand

Tripping on mirages

Canteen in my hand

People waiting for a bus
Just melt into the fray
And Satan asks me
Is it hot enough for you today
A guy on the divide
Selling oranges and peanuts
Is really Raymond Chandler
But the secret's just between us

So I take over the store
And we sell metaphors
And similes to Mercedes
And SUVs galore

Business gets so good
That Ramon moves out the hood
To a condo in Brentwood
With the mondo spread the waterbed
And one day by the pool

He says ′member that day
We met you were on your way

To L′Artiste Cafe
L'Artiste Cafe

I wake up in the plane
Cleaning crew thinks I′m insane
Now I'm cruising LAX
(Sir this way to baggage claim)
There′s a lady from the government
Interested in me
Twenty hours later she says
Go home now you're free

Hop into a taxi
And the driver looks thirteen
Decked out in some finery
That I ain′t never seen

All that metal in her face
Made it clear to me
That she had a magnetic

Personality
She said she had a day job
At a respectable chain
I said you're flipping burgers
She said coffee, tea and pain
I said I'm fascinated
She said yeah it′s okay
It′s just a gig to me

Working days at L'Artiste Cafe Incorporated
L′Artiste Cafe Incorporated

She says where you going
I said back to LAX
She says what's the problem
I said it′s way too complex
Said don't be disappointed
The future′s hit and miss
Now tell me your story
I said it goes like this

I left L.A. way back when
When it was still breathing
To pitch a tent in Brooklyn
And simulate a heathen
But one day I decided
To surf the cold Atlantic
So I hung a tent to Amsterdam
Said goodbye to the panic

Everything was swinging
I became a speculator
I looked up from a table
It was twenty years later
So I jumped into a plane
Said take me to L.A

I'll only be a week
I'm gonna sleep at L′Artiste Cafe

L′Artiste Cafe