The Volunteer Songtext
von Stackridge

When I was younger, I used to wonder
If I would sail across the sea
Dressed like a soldier
And sleep beneath a tree

Schooldays were contemptible
Me girlfriends sported boils
They rarely found presentable
Me hair was kept well oiled
Now I′ve got whiskers
Size ten blisters
Sergeant Major Busby has a phonograph
He entertains his fellow men with tea
He often bellows dirty words
His waxed moustache is quite absurd
Ain't it barmy?
Join the army


Hands off, cocks, in arm with socks he said to me
The very first day I joined the volunteer
And though it sounds remarkable
I′m stationed in Sevastopol
What a caper
Bless my maker

When I was younger, I used to wonder
If I would sail across the sea
Dressed like a soldier
And sleep beneath a tree

'Cause lately it's debatable
If I′m alive and well
Me thirst has been insatiable
Like a banshee at a bell
Now I′ve got bunions
Big as onions
Colonel Upshot-Bagley wears a petticoat
(No he don't, no he don′t)
He entertains his fellow men with tea
(I thank you, Miss White)
Often finding light relief
With a red-faced batman underneath
Ain't it barmy?
Join the army


Hands off, cocks, in arm with socks he said to me
The very first day I joined the volunteer
And though it sounds remarkable
I′m stationed in Sevastopol
What a caper
Bless my maker

Private 89436271
Received his formal discharge yesterday
The only thing he said to me
Was don't go sleeping under trees
Ain′t it barmy?