The Laziest Man in the World Songtext
von Snailmate

He′s the laziest man
Laziest man in the world

Behold! The laziest man in the world
Damn I'm a pearl
Countless bed sores adorn my soul
Check it, you see my corpse walking round?
It′s a hoax
In my head I'm at home
Tomes tell of my liquified bones
Don't question it just keep an open mind
Know I′m holed up inside and it′s alright
It's kinda like summer vacation
It′s kinda like mummification
It's obvious I hate the daytime
But when I smell coffee I rise from the grave like "uhh"
All I′m searching for are snacks in my mouth
All I look forward to is chilling out
All of my memories center around
How much I enjoyed becoming one with the couch


He's the laziest man
Laziest man in the world


Maybe people might say that I am my own worst enemy
I get all tuckered out from not exerting any energy
I prefer to be the middle link in human centipedes
I don′t want to be deciding when it's time to shit and eat
Literally anything that isn't sitting sickens me
I pretend to be asleep when anybody intervenes
Ya wanna say I got a problem?
Nah man
I′m taking after grandma, this rocker′s awesome
I ain't getting up until you toss me off it
Then I′m probably gonna conk out on the carpet
Did I mention?
All this inactivity is giving me heightened senses
I can smell a Cheeto on the ground like it was incense
I can ignore the doorbell better than anybody ever
I can neglect the mailbox better than anybody ever
I can sleep through an alarm clock better than anybody ever
I can ignore all obligations better than anybody ever
Got no competitors
No natural predators
No feelings in my legs or plans to leave the bed at all
I would eat your disapproval if that shit was edible
I said it all before but I'm repetitive
And I′m also lazy

He's the laziest man
Laziest man in the world!