Univac and the Humanoid Songtext
von Sheldon Allman

Act to my tale of a very tragic love
Most grievous to relate.
Two star-crossed lovers with a perfect love
They could not consummate.

Their love was constant,
Their love was true,
But of passion, it was devoid.
For he was a Univac-Mark 2
And she was an XF-1 Humanoid.

She gazed at him and a tear was in her eye.
To her, love was denied.
Her lover stood four mighty stories high,
And he was one block wide.


How could they do the impossible?
How could their love be enjoyed
When he was a Univac-Mark 2
And she was an XF-1 Humanoid?

And each to each, on wavelengths ultra high,
They whispered secretly
Of transistors, of gears and shafts and cams,
And printed circuitry.

And so time passed for the two of them
In the place where they were employed,
Where he was a Univac-Mark 2
And she was an XF-1 Humanoid.

Oh, hush your sobs, my pretty little miss,
And dry those oily tears.
You know that robots can′t afford to cry,
For it surely rusts their gears.

You must give up on these thoughts of love,
Though it leave you an aching void.
Give up on this Univac-Mark 2
And find you an XF-1 Humanoid.