Notre Dammit Songtext
von Roy D. Mercer

Salut, bonjour
Et c′est Saint Louis Hotel
Allô?
Is this a St. Louis hotel?
Yes, mister
Yes, hello?
Hello?
My name is Roy, yeah
I'm calling
Are y′all the one that is right across from the Notre Dame?


Yeah
Good, good
I need to talk to you
Yeah, what do you want?
I need to get some rooms there
For when?
Well, the big game, the Notre Dame game
I believe it's coming up here in about three weeks
Three weeks from Friday
And the date?

That'd be the 22nd
We are fully booked, mister
What? we are fully boooked
You′re fully booked?
Yeah, it′s exhibition time in Paris
Egyptian time, yeah, I got up I got a party of 30 okies
That need to come down there
But we are fully booked, mister
Well, how about Saturday?
We have fully book for Friday, Saturday, and Sunday


They got another game two weeks later, how about that
I don't know at all, Mr
Ahha, You just know you′re booked up
You ain't even going to check
You ain′t even looking at a book
I don't know where, mister. It probably is fully booked
The whole town of Paris is fully booked
Yeah, it′s easy to catch
All spring long
Because a March Madness is coming up

I don't know
I do know
A March Madness is coming up
Have you got any rooms there in March?
Because they'd have a tournament, I imagine
Tournament games there in March sometime
In March? I′m going to check when exactly in March
Well, hell, it′d probably run from the middle
To the end of the month, any day
And then I want y'all to

Is there any way that y′all could give me tickets to the game?
Because that's within walking distance of Notre Dame, isn′t it?
Yeah, we have five minutes
Five minutes away
Hell, I could dribble a ball all the way there
For March from the 1st to the 15th, there is no problem
No problem? Okay, because I think a tournament gets started about
I don't know, 5th or 6th, 7th in there
But only two or three rooms maximum
Well, you know, I could do that

We could at least get them, and then we might
Have to throw some of them other folks
Down to hotels further away from it
But if you want to make a reservation, send me a fax
Well, fax, hell, I got you right here on the phone
Why don′t I just talk to you right here?
Have y'all got plenty of room in the parking lot?
Because we want to have a tailgating out there
If you want to make a reservation, just send me a fax
Now, I'm around Raker Reservations right now

I′m gonna whoop your ass
How about that? I ain′t got access to no fax machine
But I do have access to an ass whooper
Yes, but I need a fax, I need a fax
Here, here, Here are the fax
I need hotel rooms
I need them for the Notre Dame game
And you're going to take my reservations
Or I′m going to whoop me a Frenchie's ass
You got it?

If you want to make a reservation, send me an email on the fax
I′m talking to your cell phone, on the phone, I need a fax
I'll slap a beret off your head and then
Whoop your ass for wearing a funny hat
I need a fax, that′s all
The fact is that I need a hotel room
Or you're getting your Frenchy ass whooped
You know, bath-taking Yankee-hating bunch of crepe-eating yahoos
If you want to make reservations, send a fax, that's all
You ever had a, how big a boy are you?

If you want to make reservation
Send a fax, that′s all
You have said that to me about hump ten dozen times now
And it ain′t making no sense
Any more than it done the first time
Here come the reservation
I need three rooms
Yes, send me a fax, fax F A X
Kiss my ass, A S S
Okay, mister, bye-bye