Blackout Songtext
von Reese Waters

I also, uh, I recently, life changes, I recently cut down on my
Drinking. Did. Because I was told that I black out. Yeah, there′s no
Way to confirm that. It's just what I was told. You black out, sir?
You′ve never blacked out before? Oh, no. So you don't know the gift
A blackout is a gift. A very special gift from the universe
A blackout is nature's way of saying, "You don′t wanna know." You

Black out, you get a pass on shame for one night. That, my friends

Is a gift. The next day people are like, "Reese, you have any idea

What you did last night?" "Hell no. But you must be horrified. You
Should try blackin′ out. I'm totally fine with last night." It is
A sweet gift, ′cause when was the last time you blacked out something
You wish you remembered? You didn't black out and cure cancer. You
Didn′t knock out your taxes. No, I blacked out, I traded in my pants
For aluminum cans. I tried to fistfight grandma. I went to my ex's
House and did Usher′s whole catalog. Even the new stuff. It's awful
It's bad. I don′t want those memories, so I′m like, "Thank you
Blackout," you know? It's a wonderful thing. The only bad thing
About a blackout is, uh, when you come out of a blackout, it′s never


Anything positive. Right? You never come out of a blackout and you
Like, at home, eatin' birthday cake. You never come out of a blackout
And you′re walkin' a dog. Never. You come out of a blackout, you′re
Always in a shootout with the cops. Strippin' at the family reunion
Like, "Again? Why is everybody Asian in my family?" But then, that
Saves you the injuries, 'cause, you know, I used to black out and
Wake up with random injuries. And I don′t know how I got ′em. You
Know, that's always awkward when you gotta piece your night together
Like, "Yo, man... did you punch me in the face? Like sixty times?"

The, uh, worst injury I ever got in a blackout, um, I blacked out

One night, and I woke up the next morning with a sore ass. "O" is

Correct. That wasn′t so much a physical injury as an emotional one
But that was one of those situations where it was like, "Well, do
You really wanna know what happened?" And I felt like I needed to
Know. Blackout Reese could be gay. And I need to know how long he's
Been takin′ it. That's my job. I′m the only one keepin' score back
There. So as embarrassing as it was, I had to holler at my buddies
Say, "Yo, you remember last night?" "Yeah. I remember
Last night." "Yeah, that's what I wanted to holler
At you about. You didn′t fuck me last night, did you?
′Cause friends don't fuck friends when they′re drunk

That was a Budweiser commercial, it was

But that wasn't even the worst blackout I′ve ever had
The one that told me I needed to slow my roll
Any of you guys ever get so drunk you called the cops on yourself?


Guilty
I did that one time, I woke up out of a blackout and dialed 911
Like "911 Emergency."
"Yes, I would like to report a break-in

Somebody broke in my place, knocked me out
Threw up on my chest, and just left
He gets me every week!"
"Did you get a good look at him, sir?"
"Yes, I did. Six foot one, black male, no pants

Thousands of aluminum cans everywhere
Singing Usher's ′Let It Burn'."