Billboard Man Songtext
von Peter Silsbee

(If you wanna learn something about God
Shut your mouth and listen to me for a minute)
(I′m pregnant with miracles)
(Take a fresh breath of the spirit!)

Face on a sign glared down at me
Told me "Son, you betta get straight
Get yourself on Jesus' good side
Work it out before it′s too late"
He had a toll-free number and a private jet
Said I should call before I die
I rang him up but I haven't reached him yet
Just a salesman spouting lies


I sold my soul
To get some slack
Then I made a little money
So I bought it back
Now I'm the teacher
Learned my lessons well
Billboard man
Go to hell

Went to his church and walked on in
Usher grabbed me, said "Fresh meat!
Wilkommen, bienvenue
Welcome! let me show you to your seat"
I listened to the music, waved my arms around
Billboard man taught us how to pray
To do it right there′s no need to make a sound
Just put our money in the tray

I sold my soul
To get some slack
Then I made a little money
So I bought it back
Now I′m the teacher
Learned my lessons well
Billboard man
Go to hell


(The word of God is his sperm
The job of the preacher is to bring fresh sperm)
(If you look at the face of Papa Smurf you'll see Stalin)
(Had it been in the Old Testament
Harry Potter would have been put to death!)
(This means war!)

Now I got my own congregation
Come and join, I will give you the word
Heal your heart, it won′t cost you much
Sell you a hand-polished turd
I got a toll-free number and a private jet
I'm living high up in the sky
I might just save your soul, won′t you place your bet
And I swear I'll never lie

I sold my soul
To get some slack
Then I made a little money
So I bought it back
Now I′m the teacher
Learned my lessons well
Billboard man
Go to hell

(You need to make a vow of faith of a thousand dollars)
(I'll never touch the money)
(I'm not living lavishly, I′m living biblically!)
(There will be fifty people give one thousand dollars
And do it right now
Or I am finished!)
(You must order the personal prayer package
And you got to order it right now!)