Mrs. Worthington Songtext
von Peter Pringle

Don′t put your daughter on the stage, Mrs. Worthington
Don't put your daughter on the stage

The profession is overcrowded
And the struggle′s pretty tough
And admitting the fact she's burning to act
That isn't quite enough
She has nice hands
Do give the wretched girl her due
But don′t you think her bust is too developed for her age?

I repeat, Mrs. Worthington
Sweet Mrs. Worthington
Don′t put your daughter on the stage


Regarding Yours, Dear Mrs. Worthington
Of Wednesday, the twenty-third
Although your baby may be keen on a stage career
How can I make it clear
That this is not a good idea?
For her to hope, Dear Mrs. Worthington
Is on the face of it absurd
Her personality is not in reality
Exciting enough, inviting enough
For this particular sphere

Don't put your daughter on the stage, Mrs. Worthington
Don′t put your daughter on the stage

She's a bit of an ugly duckling
You must honestly confess
And the width of her seat
Would surely defeat
Her chances of success
It′s a loud voice
And though it's not exactly flat
She′ll need a little more than that
To earn a living wage

On my knees, Mrs. Worthington
Please, Mrs. Worthington
Don't put your daughter on the stage!

Don't put your daughter on the stage, Mrs. Worthington
Don′t put your daughter on the stage


Though they said in the school of acting
She was lovely as Peer Gynt
I′m afraid on the whole
An ingenue role
Would emphasize her squint
She's a big girl
And though her teeth are fairly good
She′s not the type I ever would
Be eager to engage

No more buts, Mrs. Worthington
Nuts, Mrs. Worthington
Don't put your daughter on the stage!