Intro Songtext
von Patrice O’Neal

You guys ready for your headliner?
Yes you are. You know him from Fox, HBO, and his recent
Kick-ass special on Comedy Central, "Elephant in
The Room". Please give it up for Mr. Patrice O′Neal!
Thank you. Thank you, sir. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, everyone
Give it up for yourselves for being here and staying awake from JL's
. Fucking... announcements. Y′all had a lot of patience through that
Horseshit. That motherfucker... I don't think he do drugs or nothing
He's a decent human being. That motherfucker′s just like "Um...
Sigh-... Har-..." Like, Harland Williams just slapped the shit out of
Him if he heard how you said his name. "Harland Williams is just...
Come on guys, you see him on HBO and you see him... It′s already
Late. Late as hell. -sigh- Congratulations, brother." Here or here?
Oh. Congratulations. I don't know what′s going on. Y'all all close
You don′t have to make him feel bad 'cause I
Made the mistake. It′s like, he doesn't...
Congratulations to you, my friend. You guys married?
Yeah
I'm sorry, I was talking to... It′s alright, it′s okay. You
Interrupted. "Hahahahaha! You think I'm some pregnant ho he got


Sittin′ in the chair? Maybe. Shit bitch, ain't like... Make me feel
Like a fucking asshole ′cause I'm just asking. You motherfucking
Right, I ain′t none of these old stanky ass baby mamas -gibberish-."
What's up to fucking "I refuse to be scared of niggas so I'm gonna
Wear fucking my horseshit hockey costume"? This is how fucking gay
You are. You wore a matching hockey costume with your girl, you
Fucking sissy. I wish my bitch would make me wear some shit
"I′m only wearing Knicks jerseys, bitch! Go die, motherfucker!
" I′m not even wearing nothing with orange in it. Fuck, I look
Goofy? I don't love y′all. I didn't love shit. You should be
Beat to death behind that goofy shit. That was her fucking silly
Idea, huh? No, why... Look at how girls snitch. She goes "What
About those two faggots? They got... Leave my fucking bullshit
Boyfriend alone! What about these two pieces of shit? ′Cause they
Got regular fucking I'm not trying to prove a point shit on."
You all... you′re friends with these two guys? Yeah, why... why
Are you... why'd you bring your girl? Why would you do some
Goofy shit like that, man? Explain yourself. Explain yourself
To them. We all want to know why the fuck would you bring your
Fucking girl to the guys' hang in the fuck... You can′t do shit
Now! Name some other woman you ever fucked besides her in the past
Can′t do it, right? Can't even talk about some pussy you used
To have ′cause this bitch is here. See? Don't ever look at me
Like a villain. Ever! I′m on your side, don't ever forget that
I′m sorry, what did you just say?
Women oughta fuck the game up! How bad did you want to like make her
Stay home when she's pregnant, right? So you was like "Oh baby
I think there's gonna be a lot of smoke and... too many people
Drinking. I don′t want the baby." She′s like "I wanna go!
" You're like "No, no no, no, no. Baby could get shot coming
Here." "I wanna go! I just wanna go and be with you! Stay
With you." You thought when you got her pregnant you′d get
Rid of her for nine months, but it ain't didn′t work out
Did it, nigga? Gotta still hang out with this motherfucker