Weed Is Dope Songtext
von Nick Swardson

Oh, I want to take this time, and I mean this sincerely
This comes from me and everybody involved
But I want to thank everybody for supporting the movie "Grandma′s Boy"

My favorite part though is I didn't have any of the pot smoking scenes
Which I was bummed out, but like, um, the guy Dante who played the drug dealer
It′s awesome, that's his name in real life too
That's how lazy we were when we wrote the movie
We were like, "What do we call the suit?" "Give him his name"
But so when you shoot a movie where there′s pot in it, you have to
They give you fake pot, you know what I mean?
They have to, they have to, legally, they have to

So when they made Traffic, they didn′t just give them cocaine
Like, "Oh, you guys should just smoke, here you go, some Black Tar Heroin"
Legally, they have to, I'm not saying it′s right, boo
So they, so they give my boy Dante a bag of fake pot, and he pulls me aside
He's like, "Hey, they gave me fake weed"
He′s like, "Fuck that shit"
He's like, "I′m going to smoke real pot"


That won't stay with habits
Like I, like I don't even know what that meant
So when you shoot a movie, you know, they do like 15 to 20 takes of a scene
So he′s loading up real full bong heads, and just ripping it, literally, yeah
It was so much weed, and he didn′t really think about it

By day two, he like, was like, "Bro, I can't feel my fucking legs
I′ve got to go to hospital
Make monkey drive
I don't know how to read no more"
He′s fried, so hard, it was awesome

I like pot brownies, pot brownies are fun
Everybody loves pot brownies
But I bring crystal meth cupcakes to a party
Suddenly, I'm the weirdo
It′s a double standard

I don't have a lot of tips in my act, but here's one of them
If somebody hands you a pot brownie
Know how strong it is before you eat it
That′s a little tip
Okay, people clapping, no
Somebody hands you one, just eat half of it
Then wait like a half hour


Okay?
Just see how strong it is
Because they′re not instant
A lot of people think they are
They'd be like, "Yeah, nothing actually is happening
Not working, not working
I′m literally still fine"

Then a half hour later, they're like
There′s nothing worse than being violently too high
Where it's horrifying
Like, you know that feeling
When you get way too high
And you have that inner monologue where you′re like

"Just breathe, man, just breathe
You're gonna be fine
Everything's gonna be okay, man
Nobody knows you′re too high
Just breathe, all right
Smile at everybody"

Okay, that was the worst thing you could have ever done
They just called the police
It′s terrifying