Ninja Reunion Songtext
von Nick Swardson

It′s weird being a comedian
It's like a weird job to have
I was thinking about what I wanted to be when I was a kid
′Cause I never wanted to do stand-up
I never thought about it
What I did wanna be when I was a kid

I remembered, I wanted to be a ninja
Come on now, right?
That was the first thing I remember being like
I'm gonna do this!
You're like so passionate when you′re a kid
I′m gonna do it

Dude, I wanna be a ninja so bad
Wouldn't that be a cool world
If we all became the very first thing?
The very first thing you commit to, that′s what it is
That's it, you have to be that, you have no choice
It′d be fucking crazy, just be ninjas running around


Princesses, quarterbacks throwing balls to pirates
It'd be crazy
But I was like so committed to being a ninja
When I was a kid
And you know what I′m talking about
Remember that when you were a kid
You put on your sweatpants?

Make little weapons around the house
Didn't even know karate, just fucking
Just fight the cat (meow)
But like you grow up and you grow out of it
And like when the adults, when you're a kid
All the adults lie to you

They were always like
"When you get older, you can do whatever you want
Whatever you wanna be, go be it, you little asshole"
But you can′t, like you can′t be a ninja
You know what I mean?
You can't, go try it, be a ninja

All right? Quit your job, Monday, get a black suit
A mask, sword
Just walk around during the day
Just kicking people in the face
Whoops! Oh, fuck! Why did you do that?
I′m a ninja, that's my job


Then just go and hide in the shadows
You can′t do it
But yeah, like what I wanted
I wanna show up at my high school
Reunion as a ninja though
And freak everybody out, just throw everyone off

You just show up, "Hey, what's up, Nick?"
"It′s me, Bob, I'm a real estate agent now"
"And Jim's a lawyer, he′s got his own firm"
"What are you doing?"
"I am a ninja, I live in the shadows"

They′re like, "Okay, is he serious?"
And then you can like get back at all the guys who hate it
You know, they'd be like
"Hey, has anybody here seen Nick?" Oh